Change is in the air....

My friend's post got me thinking - God moves us... to surrender the comforts of the present for something fresh. Letting go of the familiar and embracing the foreign. Relinquishing the now for the new. Why is that letting go so difficult? Because He loves us and wants us to rely on Him alone. We only grow when we are broken. Change is coming and I am ready ... I just pray I do well.

It has been extremely stressful lately and my body is showing it. Our daughter is graduating from High School and we made the decision to home school our son next year. Talk about change! Phew! I am really looking forward to home schooling and I have to be encouraged and will be turnig to my friends and other home schoolers for incite when it is tough. I am so thankful for the very wise words from Debbie Beyer who told me it is all about Faith, Facts amd Fun! That will be my mantra next year.

So cancer update: my hair is still falling out but it seemed to slow down a little bit. I am not bald yet and it seems to be alittle everywhere so my friends say it is not noticable! :-)  I love my friends~ I can only imagine had I had chemo what I would have looked like!

I have still been having pressure in my left ear (since before the surgery), some pain and very often popping. My surgeon didn't think it was a big deal. But now I have a cold (and maybe need antibiotics) we shall see if the Airborne tablets can clear up my sinuses and also my ears ! Surprisingly my immune system has not been compromised with all I have been through. If anything Josh, who is my 2nd grade germ magnet, hasn't shared much with me so God has really been blessing me with good health. Thank you God and all of you faithful friends for your continued prayers!

Father's Day is upon us and I am so glad to have my Father in Heaven who is perfect and reminds me that we are human and will never be perfect but are forgiven and that is so awesome!

I pray all you Fathers will be blessed this weekend and thank you for the tough job you all have! Even though our kids might not show it or say it enough I know they appreciate you and love you like us wives! You rock!

This is the Day..... Thank God for Mothers (and Fathers)!

This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it. ~ Psalm 118:24

Thank you God for letting me be a mother twice! What a blessing and how much the experience teaches me and stretches me every day!

As a cancer survivor, I am forever reminded Life could be so much worse as I see the suffering around me. Lord I lift up my friends to you who are battling all sorts of illnesses and pray for healing. I praise you from sparing me from Cancer at least for now. Thank you Lord!

I sruggling everyday with the side effects from the synthroid and the fact the Dr wants me to continue to increase it. But my suffering is far from that from those around me. It puts it into perspective. I truly have nothing to compain about and ask for forgiveness constantly. Who am I to complain? What more do I deserve?

My heart pounds with anxiety at night along wiht night sweats that often prevent me from getting rest. I "sleep" but with so much tossing and turning I am not sure if you could call it that. My hair continues to fallout in handfulls, and between the weight gain and water retention, I am back up 3+ lbs in one week. Sam is a saint for what he has to deal with, with me. The worse part for me is the bouts of lack of clarity in thought. The Dr said to be patient and that it would get better when the hormone levels are correct. But I am doubtful. As I increase I only see more problems but less.

So long story short I went from 100 mg to 125 mg and was only able to do this twice last week and I felt so bad I stopped. I get so tired on a whim that I am unable to keep my eyes open. But as soon as I return home I hit the bed fast. Yesterday I had a power nap - I was out for 30-40 minutes and it felt like the whole night. It is strange I have energy but not stamina.

But good news my contract was extended so I still get to work from home! I love my team and am very excited so thank you Lord for providing! And I will be working on some other projects for a friend too!

Please pray with us on options for school next year. We want the Lord's will but we are being pulled toward home schooling again so thank you for your prayers.

God bless you and have a great weekend and Mother's Day!

Hanging in there.....

Hi all - it has been a while since I updated my Blog so I thought I should give a progress report. I had my blood work done again last week and I am "close" to the desired amount of thyroid. With this being said, I have many side effects / symptoms again which doesn't thrill me. I am anxious, have a hard time falling asleep at night and my heart races, night sweats and my thoughts race too. I find my thoughts are not clear and I am just anxious with the kind of "dread and gloom" type thoughts. I don't like that at all. I like to be a positive and not dwell on teh what ifs but I find myslef doing that and it concerns me a bit.

From the feminie side point (so guys skip this paragraph) ..........................
my cycle is almost non existant. I was 31 days and then barely spotted and about 2 days before that - at about 28 days - my hair began falling out in hand fulls. So I will be following up with my Dr yet again.

According to the bloodwork I need to increase my dose "a bit" so she has me now on 125 mg. I only increased it 25 since yesterday and then only once every other day since I do not like how I am feeling. The routine is to take the bloodwork every month yet my timing is perhaps off. It always coincides with my cycle so I wonder if I should change that... again a question for my Dr.

Other than that we have been mountain biking again and I love that! I stll have the twitch in my cheek although the burning sensation in my throat is getting better. The ENT thought it was a nerve thing and should go away with time. I also have pulsing in my muslces and a pounding heart at times but usually at night so I am trying to see if I modify my diet if that will help (no sugar, etc after 5 pm).

For my muscles I have been trying to eat a banana daily for potasium and keep up my calcium and take a suppliment for magnesium. I think this is helping but I am still watching it.

I also bought Red Rice Yeast to help with the cholesterol but no results yet to see if it is working or not. Now that I have reached my potential levels or am very close I believe I can start looking at other things to see what will best help with symptoms.

I have been spreading the word to all women I see about thyroid and getting it checked. I also suggest to write down in a calendar when you feel a drop or symptoms each month and see if it cycles. Then schedule your blood work on that day. If your thyroid has a ebb and flow effect with going between hypo and hyper- throid it is hard to detect and could go unnoticed.

One friend I have was experiencing similar symptoms like I was and she is young. Her Drs told her also that she had vertigo, etc. It turns out she has a cyst on her thyroid. So please ladies have them check! :-)

I was sent this poem from a friend today and I would like to share it with you all!

My Prayer


Oh Lord, my God, how great You are.
You saved me from myself,
Erased all of my sin and shame.
For the glory of Your Holy name.

Now, my Lord,I give you praise,
As the one of everlasting days.
All power, might, and love is Yours.
You are the one who I adore.

Christ, my God, please grant me strength
To make it through all trials I face.
Give me peace, and joy, and more from You.
So I may always glorify You.

Finally, just one request,
Do I still have yet to ask.
I know my heart and will, oh Lord,
But please, oh please God... give me Yours.

Amen

One step at a time....

Since I had been going to my new dorctor I have been feeling pretty good. I can always tell when my hormones drop though becasue I get VERY tired and my hair falls out in handfulls. I have to wait until April 22 to go for the blood test and then they will probably increase my synthroid amount.

I need to get Joshua tested for hypothyroidism also. His ears are freezing cold most days and I donot believe it is circulation as he runs around a lot. He also has my allergies to grass which makes it hard to breathe.

My study verse today is:  ~ 1 Timothy 2:1

I am praying the Lord heal him from those things.

I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them.


I am praying for Sam and his stress, my health, my firends who need miracles and healing for Krohns, vertigo, cancer, and the list goes on and on! You are all in my prayers dear friends!

Have a great day and talk to you again soon after my blood test.

Just plain tired...

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN THIS TIRED?

Well yes I have not been sleeping like I should so I have been this tired lately! :-)

So with that I will say good night to you all!

Points to ponder today:

Fire goes out without wood, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops.
~ Proverbs 26:20

A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.

~ Proverbs 15:1, NLT

Makes you think huh?

Praise the Lord !

I am so happy today. My new Dr called and they have a cancellation next Thursday so I can get in with them. I am really looking forward to workig through all the medicine to see what I can stop taking soon.

I have 3 part time jobs at present and it is too much so I am praying about dropping one and the best part about today is I am going to TEA with my friends to relax and have fun and I NEED it!

Sam is trying to "surprise" me with a little getaway weekend but we need to find a place for Josh to hang out. Both with the stress at his work and then my cancer has wiped us both out. It is not fair for us both to get the wind knocked out of us at the same time... but the Lord is stronger than us and HE can handle it - we just have to give it all to Him!

Todays verse is:
This is the message we heard from Jesus and now declare to you: God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all.
~ 1 John 1:5, NLT

I want to stay in the light where it is safe and I am protected. Thank you Lord for your LIGHT and protection through the darkness of this life. Amen

Washed with Rain.....

Yes it's me checking in after so long. Sorry it has been a while. I have been doing very well and very busy. Last Friday night was the big 4th grade fundraiser of which I am in charge of getting "stuff" for the silent auction. I didn't count this year but I am sure I had close to 100 items. Phew. I did great until Thursday afternoon when I hit bottom and felt like the wind had been knocked out of the sails. I couldn't wrap another basket. Thank goodness I took all my stuff to the school and 3 ladies were there to help me. I don't know how much they made but I am thinking we did ok despite the economy. During this time I was still struggling with the synthroid. I fonally got my Dr to change it to a 50 mg version with no colors or additives.

Then I had a few another hiccup with the high cholesteral med. Actually it was a big hiccup - it was giving me an asthma attack every night about 1 hr after taking it coupled with anxiety - probably from the fact that I couldn't breathe.... Since the symptoms were progressing I just stopping taking it on Saturday night and call Monday morning for a new kind. The good news is that is seems to be working and so far no allergy or asthma attacks. Phew. I like breathing!

Today's bible study was on 2 Samuel 19:8-43. Man there is a lot there about David's return to Jerusalem and the throne. So much for us to learn about and to apply to our own lives. I am really grateful to Mary and the others who are a part of the study. It is awesome. If any ladies are free Tuesday mornings, you are free to join us! It is really amazing and God is speaking to our hearts.

Todays devotional was:

Psalm 27:1    
Of David.

The LORD is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?

My awesome hubby just got home so I am off for some family time! See you all later......

Clear skies ahead ....

Praise the Lord my taste is returning! It is so nice to actually taste chocolate again but that of course has downsides! So even though Doc said 2-3 months it looks like it will be only about 1 month for me.

The Doc increased my synthroid to 75 now. It was hard to get to sleep last night so we shall see how it works out. So far I am nauseous again and getting hot in teh face despite the 50 degrees outside. They say to give it time so I am going home to rest and give it time.
This is my devotional today.        Psalm 62:1-2

My soul finds rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

Life is great! Have a great day everyone!

Feeling better today without meds....

On Saturday I forgot to take my meds and I felt really great. That is to say many of them but not all. I still took my synthroid at 5 am.

So my question is - who do I ge to listen to me on whether I need the others or not?! Doc took blood last week on Thursday and I am still waiting for the email follow up on what the next step is. Praying my cholesterol will be perfect and that I can stop taking some of this stuff soon. Oh and the synthroid will be perfect too. I don't want more.

AND praise the LORD - my taste is coming back! It must be the big hug I got from Josh and Sam last night that did it!

Hugs to you all!

I forgot again....

Due to situations beyond our control, Sam and I were woken up twice last night and so neither of us got very good sleep. I heard my 6 am alarm and was able to take the synthroid but then fell asleep again and forgot all my other medicine for the rest of the day! Ugh! I can't take it now so I am just skipping it and praying that will be ok since I only have to wait another few hours before I take the next dose.

This schedule with the meds is next to impossible, should life happen. I am not sure how I can make it happen other than to keep my phone alarm set to buzz me everytime I need to take something.

How do normal people do this? It is enough to make a person crazy. Sigh... all in good time as I am reminded.

Today was a nice day despite the rain and no medication! lol ! It was very productive with some cleaning, laundry and weeding in the garden. I even switched out the front garden hose and trimmed my hedges that were a bit over grown. humm  kinda makes you wonder if I need all the meds they have me on. I can't wait to hear back from the Dr about my blood results. I sure would like it if they told me I didn't need any of them anymore! :-)

I am really excited about church tomorrow. I will be leading worship and singing withthe worship team again. It has been almost 2 months since I sang. I pray I don't lose my voice since I haven't sang for that long yet and I did get a little hoarse again after rehearsal.

Well I am off to get some of the rest my body needs. Have a great weeekend everyone!
Hugs to you all!

By the way did I mention the Dr said my taste buds could take 2 months before they decide to return? I am praying for my friend in the hospital and another who has breast cancer and going to start her 2nd course of chemo this week. I am also praying for my friend's hands and feet to be healed and another friend who need their pain to go away! Lord I lift up my many friends to you. Please care for them and give them your peace.

In Christ alone will I glory ....

Yesterday was not a good day. Everything that could happen did in all our lives. It was very tiring. I am so glad it is over and today is a new day (even if it is a half day for Joshua!) I wish I could go to sleep fora day then I would have some strength back. This weekend will be crazy too because 1) it is suppose to rain 2) baseball practice is canceled 3) Sam will be gone at Umpire training until 4:30 pm and I just want to sleep - lol not going to happen.

My follow up appt with the Dr was disappointing. He told me the radiaiton is gone (can't be - most of it sure) but it was as if he said it enough times he could speak it into being. Then he told me that he knew for a fact that I was not taking enough of the synthroid and that he will need to increase it even though I feel great and have no side effects. Then he wondered why my blood pressure was up. Talk about stress.....  So anyway they took blood and he will email me the results and next steps. Next appt in 2 months.

I heard this song on KLOVE on the way home: Brian Littrell - In Christ Alone

In Christ alone will I glory
Though I could pride myself in battles won
For I’ve been blessed beyond measure
And by His strength alone I’ll overcome

Oh, I could stop and count successes like diamonds in my hands
But those trophies could not equal to the grace by which I stand

Chorus:
In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone

In Christ alone do I glory
For only by His grace I am redeemed
For only His tender mercy
Could reach beyond my weakness to my need
And now I seek no greater honor in just to know Him more
And to count my gains but losses to the glory of my Lord

Thank you Lord!

Body scan follow up....

I am off to my Dr appt this morning to follow up on the full body scan. I did already get the phone call that "it was as "anticipated" and we will see you at the follow up." I assume that meant it was all ok but I guess I will find out today.

I received an email from a close friend from high school that I found again recently. She is going through chemo right now. She had breast cancer when I had thyroid cancer. We were probably in hospitals at the same time. I lift her up in prayer. I just don't get how many people are affected by cancer now a days. I know we live in a fallen world but it is crazy. It has really given me a different perspective on keeping my body as healthy as possible so I can do God's work until He calls me home. He expects me to do my part.

Dear friends I am lifting you all up in prayer ~ so many need health restored, some need family or financial help, the list is really endless. God never says we won't have troubles, He only says we won't go it alone.

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”- Romans 8:38-39

Thank you Lord!

PS The Dr took blood and will let me know how I am doing. He thinks I will need more of the synthroid but I feel great I don't want anymore. I guess the downside is my cholesterol could be way too high so please pray it is low enough I can stay where I am. Thanks!

Is this really my body?

After many years - well ok I am old :) - of really listening to my body and knowing what works for me - everything is all mixed up again! It is like starting over from scratch. I love some of the new things but it is so trying at times. I have been craving chocolate so I ate some - then this morning I woke up so tired I just wanted to go back to sleep. Why does this always happen on school holidays when I just can't. Sigh....

And then on the extreme no iodine diet I had next to no allergies - dogs didn't even bother me and now I reintroduced dairy and soy, I have the allergies back. That isn't fair. I know I need to embrace this wonderful opportunity and learn what is causing my allergies.....  but I LOVE cheese. So unfair...

Oh well it is a good thing so forgive me for the self pity. I say this because I know my mother is reading this! :-) Love you Mom!

All in all I am feeling really normal. No side effects except the funny taste buds but I think every day it gets a little better.

Last night I made garlic pasta with steamed broccolli from my garden and was so excited. It was awesome. Then I made a garden salad from the romaine and a red variety also. It was really fun. My snow peas are beginning to kick it up a notch and the other broccoli plants are starting to all have crowns now too! Hurray! I love brocoli.

I had a really great weekend. Saturday night at the Valentine's party I got to speak German with some friends visiting from Berlin. It was great to have a polical discussion about our 2 countries and the social - econmic impact of the world and then we talked about what marriage is. I pray I didn't hurt anyone's feelings with my views. I was just so excited I remembered most to the vocabulary I needed except for the word selfish - all I could think of was ego. It was quite funny to watch me I am sure struggle trying to remember that word. Oh well. egoistisch; selbstsüchtig  - on  yeah! I was close! After ummmm 16 years that isn't bad! Wow where does the time go! I really need to go visit my Germany again and see my friends there.

It really got me thinking about how the German people have turned away from God. Many there don't think about God at all - or make time for Him. Once a Christian country is now very lukewarm. Of course there are always exceptions but all those beautiful large churches I ever visited were always empty. It was sad.
No one was even seeking the Lord.

Valentine's Day  ~ Many people here and in Europe, I guess all over the world only think about their own happiness. They do not put others happiness before their own happiness. I am sure it is because of this Jesus made it a point to say it so many times.

Mark 12:28-29  ~ The Greatest Commandment

One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?"

"The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."

What joy it is to love others as we would love ourselves although I think I love others more than myself but I am working on the equal part. :-) Thank you God for such wisdom and JOY!

Valentine - What is true love?

“This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.”- 1 John 4:10

Today was a sweet day but busy day. Thank you Lord for the wonderful family I have to share good times with! I am feeling good and so happy to be back with people again! I love giving and getting hugs!

Great day at church too - the book of Daniel is so full of great things.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Clear skies and chilly ......

I think I may be getting Josh's cold. My sinuses are not happy but that is ok. I had prayed that if I got it - to wait until the bad radiation was gone! And my prayer was answered. I have no fever so I am not sure what it is but I have been taking sinus stuff and it helps.

2 days ago I began taking a vitamin supplement for women and I have felt worse so I am going to stop taking that and look today for another brand. This one had lots of extra stuff in it like iodine. I just pray for wisdom to learn what I need to do for my health.

I am reminded today not to forget to lift up those who are really suffering. One in particular is VeggieTales writer/director Tim Hodge is in a health-insurance bind caring for his son Matt, in a coma since an August 2008 accident. I just learned there is a list of art auctions on eBay to help out! Here is the link for more info:

 http://www.helpthehodges.com/

Compounding the Hodges’ financial crisis and mounting medical bills, Matt’s need for constant care affects Tim’s ability to work full time. The National Cartoonist Society Foundation has put together a series of eBay auctions to raise funds for support of the Hodge family. Ebay unfortunately removed all of their auctions wihtout them knowing so stay tuned. Please join me in praying for the complete restoration of Matt and his healing.

Lord please give strength to those in need, those who need healing and joy brought back to their lives. Thank you that you care about every detail in our lives and for your provision.

Matthew 10:29-31 (New International Version)

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

Anticipating Valentine's Day

Sam surprised Josh and I this morning with Valentine's donuts from Mary's. What a dellicious treat! He spoils us! So we drove up to Del Mar and met him for lunch! It was very nice!

I was reminded today of when my husband proposed. Then Sam came home and told me he almost submitted our story in a radio contest with KLOVE. I remember when "You've Got Mail" was coming out in the theaters and a People Magazine reporter called me to interview me for our story. Sam and I did meet on the Internet but not through AOL so People wasn't interested after 2 phone interviews. LOL  Oh the memories!

It is amazing what things you remember or even just savor when the TV is off and there is quiet to listen to each other. I feel like I have spent too much time running away from quiet when I really enjoy it now. Sure I am a people person and love fellowship / friends, but quiet is nice too.

Tomorrow is our Valentine's Day party and I can't wait. I have never been into Valentine's Day as I perceive it as just a Hallmark marketing ploy but this year I am embracing how I am reflecting on Love and Relationships.

Our women's bible study these past few months has been on David's life in 1st and 2nd Samuel. It is convicting me about how our role as a parent is to raise our children to be good adults - Godly men and women, respectful husbands / wives and loving parents. We want our children to respect authority, to love God and to treat others with respect and love. I was reminded today how God doesn't have to remind us to love our children - we do that without nudging. But it is the tough parts - the disciplining  - that we need reminding of - correcting the wrong behavior, being compassionate but not backing down and also being consistant. It is a diffficult task and one that David failed. I am comforted by that. David let his sons disrespect him and ultimately paid dearly for his lack of discipline with them. So often I reflect on how I fail as a parent and how I need to be better but I am encouraged that each day is new and I can do better. I am so glad that God is not through with me yet!

God doesn't play the blame game. He tells us only He alone is perfect so we cannot think we are and only by embracing our mistakes and owning them can we learn from them and become better. It was great Sam and I had a talk with Josh about that tonight and it was very sweet. We are blessed to have been given our 2 kids. They are so different and teach us so much!

But after a very long day (Josh didn't have school today) I am exhausted. So I am off to sleep and will ponder these things and more tomorrow.

Beautiful day but cold winds blow....

I was reminded today that even on beautiful mornings the cold winds can blow. I have to stay steadfast and solid in my faith and truth. A funny analogy but eating can be like that too. If you want to lose weight you must endure the daily challenges and hold true to what you know is best for you. You have to deny the simple pleasures for here and now and hold to what you know is right. I learned this lesson when I reintroduced chocolate back into my diet. Not a good thing. You would think I was 13 again.

I learned so much about my body through this no salt or iodine diet. It was so strict yet it was really good for my body. Now that I am back to the fast pace and eating junk my body is rebelling. Food for thought..... It is hard to make daily sacrifices to keep life slow - not to take on too much and to stay focused on what is important.

Colossians 2:8
See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.

That is what I am pondering today.

My Doctor's office called today with the messgae that the scan looked "good" and as anticipated and I didn't need to see the Dr for a month or so. I told them I already had an appt for the 25th so I guess I can ask my questions then.

I am still doing very well on the new dose of medicine. I feel normal and my weight is staying the same. I still have the starnge taste in my mouth that dissapates a bit when I chew gum. I think this will go away over time. I consider it still a blessing so I am not worried about this. I am however praying for my singing voice to return fully. I haven't been able to sing for an extended amount of time yet and I also don't have the stamina or volume or range like I did before. My voice gets hoarse quickly. So I just need wisdom to know how to get there and when not to push it.

I also can't wait to get back to bike riding but I just need to fnd the time when it is not bitter cold. The last time I rode I thought I got frostbite in my finger tips so I had to turn back. So I guess I am praying for some warmer weather although we sure can't complain compared to the rest of the US!

I thank you Lord daily for your provision and for my step dad's surgery that went well!

Only one side effect ....

This morning I was reminded that the battle belongs to the Lord.

2 Corinthians 10:4  ~  The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.


So many times in my life I had felt so convicted of a wrong doing by someone else. It was not right, not just, didn't they see it was wrong... I used to be bothered by it and now I take it to the Lord and His justice is so much better than mine. I have seen Him move mountains (yes we Italians are stubborn and don't move for anyone but the Lord! and I mean how He has changed my heart many times.) Many times in our unhappiness it is our perspective that needs a shift and then JOY is back. The Lord works it out if we just ask Him for help.

I thank the Lord for allowing me to see His work in so many ways! I am so blessed when I hear people say they changed their minds and are going to do the wise choice. I have seen the Lord use people who don't accept Him as their Lord and Saviour yet they still do the right thing. I am so glad the battle belongs to the Lord. His justice is far better than anything I could ever do. Thank you Lord!

I feel really good today. I am ready to face the day. The only side effect I have now is my taste is still off but I just keep chewing gum and it helps clear it up. I really do love not having to overeat. I pray He allows me to keep this!

Today I have to get Josh in to see a dentist as his teeth shifted and now one of his fillings is sharp and cutting his tongue. After that it is back to school. The field trip to Indian Hills has been postponed another week due to the rain. I love this rain! I am about ready to harvest my first broccoli crown and I can't wait! :-) Thank you Lord! What a gift from the earth!

Tomorrow is the Valentines party for Josh's school and then this weekend for us! It will be lots of fun. All the men at our church spoil the ladies. We have a potluck and only the men can bring food and goodies. And they bring really good stuff! :-) I can't wait!

Now that my radiation is low enough I am looking forward to hanging out with friends again. I have really missed that. I also have a date with my closet to give it a makeover as well as my the weeds in my backyard! I have about half of the yard cleared and am ready to get the rest cleared so I can reseed soon.

I am praying for my step dad and his eye surgery and for so many people with up coming hospital stays or just illness or hardship. I especially am lifting up the little ones who were born without organs today that are alive and doing well despite their circumstances but they need a miracle. Lord I pray for the miracle of renewed life for them and I pray for their parents who never know how long they have them for. It is heart breaking. Give them peace and confort as they wait on your provision. Lord God you alone are the only ones who can restore and heal their bodies. What a blessing they are to all of us that know them! Lord bless them with JOY every day.

Hvae a blessed day everyone!

What a wonderful world...

Romans 10:09       That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

What a beautiful world! I slept really well and Sam "moved back in". At first I was tense and worried about him but then when I relaxed, I slept really well and the whole night through! Hurray. I woke up just as my alarm was about to go off at 6 am. So back to the grind... Got Sam and Bre off, and now Josh and I are about to get him to school, then bible study and then a little shopping.

The full body scan yesterday morning showed that I only have radiation in the thyroid on the left and a bit in the liver as it is processing it through. I was really encouraged to see it is almost all gone. What is left will only be at about 25 % of the strength as it was 2 weeks ago. So I think I can return to life again fully by this time next week at only 10 %. Hurray! I miss being around the kids and other people. It will feel good to relax around people again!

So off to school - have a great day!

Trials develop perseverance......

I slept well again last night but I woke up at 3:30 am again. It was cold out so I just rested and prayed until about 5 am when I decided to get up. Todays devotional is from James.

James 1:2-7


2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

Trials develop perseverance...... That is something to ponder. I am off this morning to get Josh to school (please continue to pray for him as his cold is really holding on) and then off to the hospital for my body scan. I pray for wisdom to know what the colors mean and that my body can shed the radiation quicker! I know you can't rush the Lord. Don't we always think we know better.... I just miss holding my husband and kids. They didn't tell me it would be a month. That is a very long time to a 7 year old.
 
But I will be on the table for about 1- 1.5 hours so I have lots of time to pray for those in need. So I will be lifting you all up in prayer as the Holy Spirit leads me today! May you all be blessed.
 
I doubt I will know anything as I then will schedule a follow up with the Dr to talk about next steps and the findings. So I expect today to be a bit anticlimatic. (sorry if I misspelled that word!)
 
Have a great day all!
 
 
 

Super Bowl and almost 2 weeks ......

Hurray tomorrow will mark 2 weeks for me since the  radiation and that means 2 half lives - so I'll be at 25% of the first amount. That makes me feel really good.

Josh had a melt down and really needed hugs. I gave him a quick one but it really was horrible not to be able to pick him up and cuddle him. He has been fighting a sinus infection / cold for over a week and he is just tired. He has days of just not being hungry because nothing tastes good. I can relate well to that. Last Sunday Sam took him to urgent care and so he has been on antibiotics for the ear infection but he just can't seem to shake this one - and I don't want to get it. I have been praying fervently for the Lord to heal him and protect the rest of us. I need wisdom to know if he just needs to stay home for a week to gather his strength and if so I need strength to nurture him from afar. I so want to just hold him and rock him and tell him it will be ok. It just isn't the same from across the room. Sigh ....

Yesterday was tough because everyone in our family was spent. We were all tired and grumpy. I am so glad today is a new day! It must be the rain and gloomy outside since we rarely get it here in San Diego! :-)

I finally slept pretty well again last night. Or at least longer. I woke up at 5 am instead of 3 am so I am happy. It was ncie though to have quiet and read Genesis chapters 48-50. It is so good to catch up on my bible reading. Our church challenged us to read through the bible in a year. I have never done that but always wanted to so I am catching up and am encouraged I can do this! I haven't been to church in 2 weeks also so it will be good to be back too.

I am looking forward to seeing everyone today. We have agape potluck lunch after church today and then we are going to our friends house to watch the Super Bowl. It will be a fun filled day! :-)

I hope you all have a blessed and wonderful day of fellowship with loved ones!

Please pray for continued peace for my full body scan tomorrow at 8:30 am. I am a little anxious but I do know I need to relax and just get through it. This too shall pass.

Talk to you again soon!

Beautiful rain....

Last night it rained again and boy do we need it in Southern California. My garden is thriving but I wish I had replanted tomatoes. My plants are over a year old and they are really looking old and tired.

It has been almost a week of taking half doeses of synthroid and I have felt the best and most "normal" this week than I have in a very long time. I really can't wait to get back to my moutnain biking again but I am still taking it a bit slow to make sure I have the strength and stamina I need to make it around the lakes again first. I would love to be able to do my 20 miles like I used to before I had my son. Or for us to go as a family in the canyons. That would really be sweet. Sam and I used to ride when we were dating. I can remember going to Laguna and I would call it the Disneyland ride since you rode up hill gradually for a long time but the downhill was like 5 mins of winding and it was a a blast and so worth it! I bet he remembers where it was too. I have no clue - I was following him!

I am a bit anxious about my full body scan on Monday as I fear them finding something they do not expect. But I know it is only Satan playing with my doubts and human-ness and so I will not allow myslef to go there. I won't let him rob my peace or joy. I just remember that nothing surprises the Lord, this is in the plan and I am on the journey wherever it takes me.

I woke up again around 2 am this morning but what was different is I felt fully refreshed. I was always a sleeper and needed 8-10 hours of sleep, sometimes more. Lately I am very perky and only seem to need around 6 hours sometimes even 4 hours works great. What a concept - very strange. (It has allowed me to realized that someone in our neighborhood vaccuums their home at 2 am every morning too!) But I love the peace and quiet that early in the morning. It is so surrene and also dark.  Great for prayer and bible study time. So that has been sweet too. It is a wonderful way to start a morning not rushed and refreshed! And not even hungry! What a concept for me. I really like this new me!

My friend who is a radiologist told me that PET scans are truly beautiful with lots of colors so I am looking forward to seeing what colors I am! I wonder if I can get a copy to take home? :-) It sounds like it would be fun to frame!

Today I lift up my friends son's in the hospital for healing, those with cancer for healing, and strength and peace for those dealing with other issues. God knows where you are and what you are going through and He is in control of it all. Thank you God!

Well I will get on with my morning - lots to do and time to do it! Hurray!

Love and greatfulness to all of you in my life sharing the journey with me. Have a wonderful day!

Wrestling with Satan ....

You know that song about the devil in Georgia ? Well last night I dreamt I had a personal hands-on fight with Satan and it felt so real I screamed out loud for Jesus to banish Him and give me strength. I was fighting for my loved ones who do not know Him and are not saved. It was so intense I woke up sweating.

But I will start at the beginning for this to make sense. I was brought up in a typical Italian American Catholic family. Believing in Jesus was a given. I was born that way. But during my pre marriage counseling something very real changed in me. I accepted Jesus into my heart, confessed I am a sinner and asked Him to reign in me. I have a personal relationship with Jesus now and my life has never been the same.

Sure I was like everyone else, a cheese-ster. You know “cheese-sters”, the “good” people that go to church on Christmas and Easter. When people would approach me about Jesus I always thought they were on “drugs” because they were just too happy. I know about life. It isn’t all rosy stuff, so how could they be that happy. “Those people”, the Jesus Freaks, scared me. I doubt I ever really listened to what they had to say, I would just say” I believe in Jesus what do you want?”

While I lived in Europe (close to 10 years) I visited all sorts of churches, lots of denominations and found the buildings, as well as the clergy, all empty. It was really disappointing. But I felt God was calling me and I just wasn’t sure what he was telling me to do.

It wasn’t until our pre-marriage counseling when our Pastor asked my husband-to-be if he had a personal relationship with Jesus that I had to stop and ask – “Excuse me but what does it mean to have a "personal relationship with Christ"?” How do you do that?

The rest is history! Since then my eyes have been opened, kind of like getting glasses for the first time when you see leaves on trees instead of just green blobs. Slowly over time things start making sense and what I understand now to be the Holy Spirit opening our eyes and hearts; helping us to understand things He wants us to get. It is amazing. And how easy it is – we just have to tell Him we need him, confess we are sinners and that we want Him to take over and lead us and we are willing to let Him. It is truly amazing.

Maybe for me since I spent so many years being on the other side and so cynical, I felt like I knew Jesus all my life yet when I prayed Jesus was always at the top of the stairs (like my 6’6” father). Always at a distance and I could never see him eye to eye. My friend reminded me once how I used to climb the stairs in our 2 story house when I was mad at my dad, so I could talk to him face to face. Although there were times my Dad scared me, I was just as scared of Jesus. Jesus was always at the top of the stairs.

Now I can come to Jesus anytime. He sits with me, or carries me, I sit at His feet or sometimes on His lap. Or I walk next to Him holding His hand. It is so much different now. And now I finally “get it”. I have such JOY is all situations. I know life won’t be easy and I know I don’t deserve anything good. I am a sinner but I am a forgiven sinner. I have peace to let the past go. If God forgave me why couldn’t I? It is so freeing. Sure I struggle like everyone else with my personal lessons. God isn’t through with me yet! And I am so glad. This cancer could have been so different but I knew He wasn’t through with me yet. I didn’t know what the journey would look like (I still don’t) but I know I don’t go it alone. The perfect Father is here for the long haul and I am His as well.

I long for my friends and family to have this peace I feel and the JOY no matter what. I long for them to know the comfort of never being alone again and knowing the perfect Father in heaven. Life is all about relationships and when we put our trust in other people we are going to get disappointed because no one is perfect. But when we give God our trust HE doesn't let us down. He never changes. He tells us to give Him our burdens and to let go of them and let Him worry about it. He has the plan for our lives and it is so much better than when we think we have it planned out. He has shown me how HIS timing is truly perfect and so much better than when I try to make things hapen on my own. He lets us try and and is there when we fall. How much easier is to come to Him first and ask for Him to let us know when the time is right. It is so sweet!

I pray for the lost and am burdened for them. I want so much for them to know God's love for them and for them to surrendor to Him completely and be blown away by His unending Love, and the comfort and JOY and peace. But like the The Ten Commandments say,  "I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.  "You shall have no other gods before me.." Our God is a jealous God and we have to worship Him alone.

John 14:6 (New International Version)
Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

Thank you Jesus for delivering me out of the pit! I pray for the Lost - may they be found.

Sunny skies .....

I wake up every morning thanking the Lord for another day! I am so grateful to feel good it is amazing.
It is like finding a long lost friend.

After hearing back from Josh's principal yesterday about how he shared "mom has been locked in her room for weeks and I can't touch her" Sam took Josh out for a father son chat last night to see how he was coping. He has accepted this whole sickness and situation as matter of fact. He misses me but seems to be handling it all very well. If anything it has helped him mature and stand on his own more. He is really being blessed through this hardship too. Sam did ask him why he thought my door was locked and he said "So Mom can't come out." He was shocked when Sam told him it was so that HE couldn't get IN.....      :-) I wonder if he thought this whole time Mom was on a really big time out! LOL

I had to run an errand after dropping Josh off this morning and so I listened to Genesis in the car. I never realized that Eden was in Isreal or the far East somewhere. At least that is what it sounded like because it spoke of the rivers that ran through it and one was the Euphrates. I was blown away. I am loving the stuff I am learning. I listen to my bible on CD in the garden too. Now I just have to see if I can upload a few to my phone for when I go on my walks.

I feel refreshed with new life and a new purpose and am making plans to do the things I need to in my home. Baby steps as I know I still am not 100 % back yet but it feels good. My yard has been the first priority and then my closet. I can't wait as I am really on fire and have a plan!

Please pray with me for my dear friend who wil have surgery in 2 weeks. I will be lifting her up for healing and peace everyday. I feel so blessed that I have had this time to lift others up in prayer and to serve. And if I forgot someone since my list has grown so long now, I know the Holy Spirit can intercede for me for the needs of God's people. I know I just need to be obedient and go to the Lord in prayer. God is so patient with us! It's amazing!

My daily devotion today is this: 1 Timothy 6:12 (New International Version)

Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

Thank you Lord for today!

Clear with blue skies!

Today was another beautiful day! Josh finally went back to school and I had an awesome phone call catching up with a dear friend! That is twice (2 different dear friends) in one week! Man I am blessed! That is what life is all about ... relationships! :-)

I had a great restful night last night as well and slept through the whole night! I finally feel like myself again! I didn't get to the exercising(bike riding) today since I had to wash all the bed linens twice and am still washing the blankets now but there is always Friday - hint hint to Loo Loo, my partner in crime. I hope she is up for it!

A special thank you to my awesome husband who has sacrificed so much for me these past weeks. He is so wonderful! I love him more and more each day! And to my sweet sisters in the Lord, Lori, Gala, Marilyn, Sue and Liz for their phone calls. You have really encouraged me and gave me the much needed "HUGS" through the phone this week! Thanks !

Also a special thanks to my awesome mom who calls me everyday to check in! I look forward to those calls (although as I am feeling better I haven't been home to get them - yesterday and today) but thanks for calling! I do appreciate it!

I find I enjoy just sitting in my car in the driveway listening to the bible on CD and enjoying the warmth of the sun and being Outside! I did go out in teh backyard for 2 hours listened to the CD's and weeded. My backyard is coming along nicely although very slowly!

On a lighter side......

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Little John the Baptist
Matt..18:4-5

"Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
And who ever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. "



Johnny's Mother looked out the window and noticed him "playing church" with their cat.

He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it. She smiled and went about her work. A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back To the open window to see Johnny baptizing the cat in a tub of water.

She called out, "Johnny, stop that! The cat is afraid of water!"

Johnny looked up at her and said, "He should have thought about that before he joined my church."



Knowing scripture can save your life - in more ways than one!

Love to you all!

What a beautiful day.....

Praise the Lord! I slept great last night! I realize it has only been one night but I think that cutting my synthroid in half worked very well. Phew!

Also my new found love with gum has given me my taste back again and today I felt like myself again! Man I missed me! :-) Hurray! Sam came in this morning and tesated everything including me with the geiger counter. I had been like up to a 20 when I first came home. I was a four today and that was at about 1.5 ft. Monday was teh official half life so the radiation whatever is left is only half the strength it had been. Next Monday I get my full body scan andit will only be 25 % of its original strength. (Hurray I get to use the Chermistry I learned at 16!) I knew there was a reason I took that instead of physics! lol

So I had more confidence to stay home with Josh even though I still stayed 5 ft away or in my room for most of the day. Yesterday Josh stayed home from school and I just stayed away from him as much as possible. It worked out fine. He still had a slight fever last night so I kept him home today too. By the afternoon his hunger had returned so tomorrow it will be back to school. He is on an antibiotic so that is helping although he blows his nose every minute so I will send him with a garbage bag and box of tissues.

I missed going to bible study but I have the lessons so I am not too far behind. I really could not believe how good I felt today. :-) My friend Loo Loo hooked us up with lots of ready to eat stuff so I have been really enjoying meals again now I can taste them! I still can't eat much but that is a good thing. I don't need to eat as much as I was eating! Jenny Craig - cut each meal in half and put the other half away right away then eat what you have with a full glass of water.

Last night and again tonight I walked rapidly in place for a good 20 min. I can't wait to get back on my mountain bike. I will maybe try it tomorrow and see if I can do it. I can always just rest and then walk it back if it is too much. It will feel good to get some exercise again. I did get out and weed again! My garden is looking pretty good and the grass yard also.

I did spend a great amount of time today washing my clothes and bed sheets etc. I had to wash everything twice so it has tajken all day. I am on the last loads drying them. I can't drythe sleeping bags very quickly so I may be up kinda late tonight. Sam said he would check my room again once it is all washed to see where teh hot spots kind of are. So far it all is very low except for my toothbrush which I promptly threw away and double bagged. Just got my new one unwrapped. Hurray!

Well off to check the laundry! Thanks for the prayers and looking forward to another restful night! I can't wait to hug and kiss my family again but still probably anohter week to 2 weeks before that will happen.

G Nite all!

Our garden..... :-)

Snow peas - yummy!

Our 1st valencia oranges ever!

 My broccolli flower ! Yum ...........................

Our roma tomatoes (above) and brussel sprouts and carrots below! Then some cherry tomatoes, lettuce, celery and bell pepper. Then our myer lemon tree and some lovely daffodils from Lori! Thanks Loo Loo *Hugs!*

No sleep again?!

So after waking up at 2:30 am again just like last night, I decided it was medicine induced worry and not the sickness of my family. Then when all the symptoms I had when I had cancer began again, and I had to urinate frequently I decided to page the Doc. I had it until 5:45 am. I wasn't concerned about the symptoms but was worried that  knew I had to take my synthroid again but wanted to take a half dose and to make sure the Dr was ok with that. The great part was that he suggested it even though I hadn't shared my thoughts were there also. So praise the Lord! He agreed that although I will have symptoms as my body learns to adjust we will try just a half of the pill for a while. Phew!

Then on top of the lack of sleep I had to take a 1/3 of a benedryl and so now I could sleep well.....

But as life is what it is - Josh still was feeling really bad so we let him stay home today. So he is resting in the front and I in my room. Sam did check my glow and it is WAY down to just 5. So I thnk I am finally pretty safe to be around - not safe for extending cuddling yet but well on our way.

I will sleep well tonight (I hope and pray!) :-) Today is officailly the 1st half life - the 8th day so that makes me feel really really good!

Off to make sure Josh is covered and resting - so ttyl

A pretty good day!

Praise the Lord ! I had a good day despite not such a good night I lay awake worrying and couldn't sleep. I didn't know that Josh and Sam both have ear pain. See in my room wiht the door closed I hear nothing from the world. I get lots of rest but am very isolated as to what is happening. I really have no clue. :-(

Sam felt Josh's pain wasn't that bad so he gave him medicine and Josh fell asleep. I was upset when I found out because it was already 10 pm - urgent care was closed and Josh was now sleeping. I felt guilty I couldn't take care of my husband or son that were both sick now. So I prayed all night for them both and that Bre would stay healthy too!

So I tossed and turned all night. Then I lay awake all night praying Josh would make it through the night so we could take him to urgent care this morning. I hadn't thought about what that would do to me - not go to sleep. So in the morning I was VERY tired and wiped out. Sam went to church (I was sad I missed it) but Breanna stayed home to hang out with Josh and I fell asleep. Hurray!

I hope he will feel well enough to go to school because tomorrow will be day 8. The hospitals say it is safe but I am not convinced so I am staying away from my family still. I wish someone had real data saying when it is safe again. I have the full body scan in one week and will feel much better then knowing something real. It is so hard because this is something you cannot see.

The only side effect I still have is my taste is off but I find if I suck on lemon drops it helps restore the taste. I like lemon candy so bonus - it is an easy thing to do! WOW! I just googled and someone said gum worked faster and they were right! I love gum so this should be easy! I didn't do it before because I had no discomfort and my glands didn't feel clogged. But I guess since I didn't chew gum over time I developed this strange taste in my mouth. Strange... well gum you are my new found friend! The gum tastes normal to me! Yippee!

I don't look forward to another week of seclusion but am praying for wisdom. I will have Sam use the geiger counter again today to see how hot I still am. It is lessening I just don't think as fast as I would like. Praying I am low enough for the parties next weekend!

I am off to watch Sleepless in Seattle - see you all soon!

So very true ....

One of my very best girlfriends, Monique once said to me that she loved me deeply but didn't like me much at that moment. No one had ever said something like that to me before and I was shocked but really listened to her words. I thought about them and will never forget them. I thank the Lord for her boldness, love for me and for the truth. I needed to hear it. We all need to hear it. We as people can be so ugly and treat each other so unkindly at times. I am so sorry for the things I have said in the past out of anger and how we can never take them back. I was so mean to my mom when I was a teenager. I am sure she forgives me but it grieves me to this day I was so cruel to the one person who stood by me through thick and thin. Especially when she was hurting too. God does that with us too. Some people feel like they are kicked when they are down but sometimes that is the only time we truly listen. God has a still small voice at times and whispers to us but we only hear when we are listening. Are you listening today?

Today I think the hormones are kicking in as I am weepy and "feeling". The thought came to me yesterday - I am a cancer survivor. This has all happened so fast that I haven't had time emotionally to think about what that means. I am so very grateful as it could have gone so differently but by GOD's grace HE had mercy on me and gave me not what I deserve. Please don't get me wrong, no one "deserves" cancer, I just mean I am wicked and without God changing my heart, I deserve to die yet Jesus died for me.

I just want to thank everyone for their support and love and prayers. I want to HUG everyone but feel very convicted I need at least another week before it is safe. I miss hugging my husband, my kids and my friends so much that I can't stand it. I think that part of it has been as challenging as the diet.

My nasea has finally gne away and I have more energy although I can't really go out like a normal person yet I feel a bit trapped. I did go and watch Josh's baseball tryouts but sat alone on the other side of the fields and watched. I cheered from afar. He did great. Then I grabbed a burger and went home. Later today I plan to weed a bit again in the backyard. I love the sunshine and then read my bible a bit online. My quiet time with the Lord has been so very sweet I really look forward to it.

I had been reading that the taste buds are a bit wacky after this treatment and I think mine are but I am finding that sucking on sour lemon drops really helps. They aren't that sour and actually allow me to taste better afterward. So strange. I am enjoying not "tasting" as clearly though because then I have no temptation to overeat. I am praying to keep this weight off that I lost. :-) So far so good.

My garden is doing very well except I need to transplant my broccoli. I hope to get to that this week once the kids are at school and I have a relaxing window of time to get it done.

My devotional today was:
Hebrews 4:16 (New International Version)

Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Amen!

See you all again soon .....

PS Please pray Josh may have an ear infection.

Why do I feel queezy...

Today again I awoke with the worning sickness feeling again. Yes it felt like my nine months of pregnancy all over again. I wonder if there was something going on with  my thyroid even then almost 8 years ago....

Oh well at least I am very familiar with this feeling... pretzels and toast maybe honey nut cheerios in my future (or not)... I took a really long really hot shower this morning and felt human again with all fresh clothes too. I am ready to move past this but my body isn't so one step forward one step back. I need to go slow and EVERYONE knows how much I just love to slow down. LOL Yes Even God.

So here I am - I tried a little chicken soup for lunch and gave up and went back to pretzels. My Angel sister Lori showed up and made us lasagna and cleaned out all the yucky stuff from the freezer and frig (I couldn't stomach it). Wow I have a new lease on life. Thanks for the egg burrito too - that tasted good and sat well too!

Sam surprised Josh with a special subway lunch at school. All in all he has been a trooper through this. I am not sure how much he really understands about my condition because you can't see radiation but we have just kept the door locked and he has respected that. He has grown up these past couple of weeks and that was important for him too. I think Sam has something planned for him also tonight to encourage him for all his support and working hard this week at school.

We had told him all along Saturday he can hug me again yet I read more and more stuff online that it still isn't safe for him to be around me. I am thinking Sam will need to explain fast short hugs but then stay away at least for 8 days and then only moderate contact for the next few weeks. I think Sam will try to come back into our room also after the 8th day. He is see how much I am still buzzing.

It is so hard to know what is truly safe for them. Although we do know my levels are diminishing according to the geiger counter; it is an older one and cannot say from where the source comes. I am scheduled for a full body scan Feb 8th - 2 weeks from taking the pills. I would know then if my neck is the only hot spot left (I pray!)

I pray my stomach would get better but again time will tell. So here I go waiting for the Lord's perfect will and timing again. I am giving up and going to nap as my body says it is time. See you all later!

1 Thessalonians 5:17-18 (New International Version)
pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Amen

I Made it ......

I am praying continually; giving thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for me (and you) in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:17-18 (NIV).

Thank you God! I made it through hopefully the worst part - off to take my first synthroid (for the rest of my life). Praying I keep the - 10 lbs off :-)

I spent about 1 hour in the backyard weeding again. I didn't want to do too much but it was so nice to get back outside again. What a beauitful day with blue skies and sunshine after the rain. Sam checked me and my "hot factor" is less so I think the 5 days might really be true when I can rejoin people again! YIPPEE!

I found the solution to my upset tummy - REAL food! After the toast sat well at breakfast - Sam went out  and got us some no salt In n Out Burgers for lunch! Talk about a feast! Now I am worn out! What a great morning! (Of course I could only eat about half but I tried! Yumm!)

Now for my nap!

A tough day...

Hump day and it sure was..... It began with a very rough night. I awoke in a heavy sweat about 3 am. I felt dizzy and nauseous so I prayed for strength to make it to the bathroom. I managed about 3:30 am but the good thing was that my stomach had settled a bit and the sweating stopped so I was more confident. Then the silly toilet OVERFLOWED! I panicked and called out to Sam as my heart began to race - what to do?! I grabbed towels and began soaking up the water and placing the wet towels in a large dark garbage bag. Since I have to flush twice each time I was worried so I put on a pair of gloves and went and got the plunger just in case. Praise be to God, the 2nd time it was fine.

After all the excitement, I remembered to turn off the clock alarm and was able to sleep in. Sam got the kids to school and when he got back we "watched" Heroes together. I sat in the kitchen and he on the couch. I was feeling really lonely since yesterday so he spoiled me. :-)

Then when he went to pick up kids and run some errands, I went out to the backyard and picked weeds for about 1 hour. I felt much better - my stomach had settled and thought the fresh air would do me good. I ate a good lunch with noodles, chicken broth and green beans and then it began again. UGH! So he came back with ginger from Henry's. I love this stuff.

Then about 3 pm I realized I had completely forgot tot take any of my meds! Oh no.........

After sucking on another ginger mint, I fell asleep and woke up to an empty house about 5 pm. I haven't been wearing my watch so I am a bit disoriented as to which day it is. But I made it....

The great news.... tomorrow I begin my synthroid AND no more special diet! Phew! I made it this far I can do the next part!

Sam came back after dropping off Bre with 2 slices of fresh rosemary bread from Henry's. I toasted one and ate it for dinner and it felt good so far.

I am beat! So I think I will take a nice long shower in a bit and then crawl back into my cocoon (2 slipped together sleeping bags) and pray it be Thursday sooner! It s a praise I have had no problems sleeping (except for the night sweats) this whole time. That has truly been awesome.

Josh and Bre had pretty good days also except Sam told me Josh threw up last night so maybe he and I have some tummy bug. I have kept everything down so far but I pray it be gone soon.

See you all tomorrow! I look forward to some real food, however bland, it will still be better then my special diet! Yippee! Almost there Lord thank you!

G'nite all! I've lost 10 lbs so far yippee!

PS I still don't have any clue as to the next steps. The Dr had told me I would have a scan one week later (next Monday) but the hospital doesn't have any orders for that scan. I called Marlena yet again and she will be back in the office tomorrow. Sigh. Hurray and wait. I will try a again tomorrow.

PPS the instructions and notes about synthroid are very interesting - I must not take anything with iron calcium for 4 hours after taking it and cannot have ginsing or herbal teas. I will ask about that also. I assume they mean the doctored up kinds not the pepperment and lemon calm decaff. that I drink. :-) So heres to learning about this new world of food again.

WHY is it when you are sick to our stomach those are the commercials on every channel AND the old shows on daytime TV? What a waste. I read my bible and studied and prayed instead. Thank you God for a sweet time with you!

Raspie (is that how you spell it?)

Hurray one day conquered - on to the next.

My throat is a bit hoarse again and a bit tender but not so bad. I don't really have much appetite and my tummy is a bit upset today. I was restless last night (it was too quiet with snoring next to me) so I don't sleep as well. Feeling kinda under the weather helps me stay in bed so I guess that is a good thing. Bre had a fun thing this morning checking how "hot" her step mom was with the geiger counter! I wonder if she could feel my "force" - better be the good one! But she did say her brain was melting - but Sam retorted that was not unusual for a teen.....

Thank you God for Laughter - we sure have it in our home!

I downed about 6 bottles of water yesterday once I got home so off to drink another one. See yas later

Am I what? Pregnant....

LOL I had to write that! And yes before they would give me the radiation that had to run a blood test to prove I was not pregnant. I had to laugh. Had the result not be negative I would have really been in shock! :-)

So I had to wait an additional hour as they double checked for me and then around noon I got my 2 capsules of the glowing stuff. It was not a big deal. The Dr and tech explained the rules of contact - staying away 3-6 ft for 5 days and then as time goes on worry less. They explained the 8 day half life (so 80 days total) and the funniest part that I will neeed to carry a card at all times for those 80 days as I will set off alarms: at the airport, some firetrucks and stations, courthouses and border patrol! Yippeee! No jury duty for me for a while - oh yeah I have a year before the year summons! rats I would have had fun with that excuse!

But seriously I know they say I can "go back to work" after 2 days but I wish to stay away from pregnant women and small children for much longer. They say just 3 ft is safe after a week but please if you are my friend and may be pregnant (or are trying), please sit a bit away from me! :-) and keep your adorable little ones away too. Sam thinks I am "over the top" but I love you too much to risk anything.

Now the good news ... after taking the pills I drove home and fell asleep (probably from the excitement AND the early morning benadryl I took). After 1 hour, I drank water and now after 2 hours, I was able to eat again. I have a bit of tingling in my glands - where my thyroid was, but other than that nothing. PRAISE the LORD! NO symptoms - which sometimes makes it harder to remember to stay away. So I am in my room with the door locked.

Josh was feeling better today so I hope he can go back to school tomorrow. He got his appetite back as well finally.

Sam is getting Bre and then the geiger counter! It will be fun to see where I am hot.

So the countdown has begun - looking forward to Thursday when I can drop this diet, begin the synthroid and feel a bit more human again and then Saturday when I can come out from my shell and hang with people again!

Thank you all so much for your prayers! Again they were answered and so far no side effects. Phew! I will sleep really well tonight!

TTYL

It's time and here I go!

Well I woke up and prayers for peace as I was having uncomfortable thoughts. Most of them were due to the fact I ate dinner way too late and then fell asleep. Now my peace has been restored and I am ready and eager. Our plan is to take 2 cars since Josh is still sick. Sam and Josh will run a few errands too to get my fresh fruit while I settle into my "vacation room".

I really am fully at peace with this and pray it do its work for me.

I had made a list of all them prep things I needed to do and had plenty of time with Sam's help getting there. I also discovered I could put the cell and house phone in a ziploc and protect it so I didn't have to grab gloves fast. I also covered my headboard and keyboard in plastic so I feel more rested. I am sure it isn't as bad as all that but I need to relax and not worry and since I have the tendance to worry this puts my mind at ease. Sam just laughs in support. Yes my Nuclear expert said "good job honey!"

I had a wonderful talk with a friend who suffers from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome last night. I have a better understanding what that means now. Granted I am sure it is just a glimmer but I have really been lifting her up to the Lord for strength, wisdom and to be free from pain. At the same time I PRAISE the Lord mine is temporary and that he has me on another assignment once I recover.

Thank you GOD for your mercies as they are new every morning! See you all on the other side...... soon!

Like Christmas Eve ....

Today Sam and I spent most of the day preparing for my "vacation" in my room alone! It was just like the Disney movie Prep and Landing! We are almost there...

I made a check list and am almost done. Now we just have to wait to see if Josh is better tomorrow but so far he has no appetite. Not a good sign and Bre is feeling yucky too.

If anyone is interested I decided to take 2 sleeping bags and open them up and then zip them together to place on top of our bed. Sam has moved his stuff out and I clear teh bathroom of only essentials for me. I have a plastic cover for my keyboard, and pillow, have my computer and TV now in the bedroom and I put my clothes for this week in a plastic container ready for me to access them. I also have 2 kinds of plastic gloves depending what I need to be able to do. I have paper plates, plastic cups and plastic utencils for each meal. I have bottled water and cups also but Sam plans to leave each day so I can get out a bit and stretch.

I weeded yesterday and my body is complaining! I am so sore so I won't do that much again until I am better.

Well I better get cooking. That is the last piece. I have some pasta to make and put in containers to hold me over and then I should be good to go! I am excited to get this over this so .... bring it on and THANK you God for peace! and thank you to the many many people holding me up in prayer! God is listening!

Almost here .....

As the time draws closer I find myself getting nervous. I am not sure what to expect. I have already had my quick panic attack yesterday but was called by our insurance case manager and then the health care nurse and then finally the Nurse Supervisor. I felt very loved and well taken care of at that point. I only panicked a bit when the supervisor said your radiation is when ? and did they request authorization for this procedure? Yikes! And they are on East Coast time so yes at 4:30 Pacific time I panicked. But Jane the supervisor nurse gave me her cell number and told me she would get it approved and not to worry. She even sent me a text later and said it was in the works.

I also got a hold of the other Endrochronoligt's office only to find out everyone is bailing from Dr Fink and there is now a 2 month waiting period for new patients. The nurse was very open and frank, and told me that he is a very good Dr but his staff lack follow through. She said just call and make appts with the Dr and speak to him directly. That was good advise. She was impressed at how fast everything had moved along for me so I guess I am in good hands.

 Now sure how it will go since Josh is now sick. We bought a new thermometer but I don't trust it 100 %. It always says I at like 96 even when I feel hot. Anyway it said Josh was 98 so we were thinking if it were off 2 degrees we believe it. That would mean Josh has a low grade fever. NO church for him tomorrow and I personally do not want to stay home with him and chance getting it. I just have to last a few more days.

So the deal is proceedure at 11 am - no eating 2 hours before and after. We may have to take 2 cars so Josh can stay out with Dad until I am settled into the room and door is locked. I think I have to hang out a little bit just to make usre it doen't come back up (please pray) and then I am sent home to drink fluids! Then it is 5 days and counting. The follow up will be in 2 weeks and will be some type of scan - I will need prayer to not panick - I have never had to lay in a machine but I have anxiety sometimes and a little of clostropobia which I hope will go away once I have synthroid. :-)

But first things first. Please pray I tolerate the pill easily and do not have too much pain in thyroid area, ears or saliva glands. I didn't have pain the first time but you never know. Each thing is different. I also pray this will work and do what it needs to do. They say I may gain weight once on the synthroid which I don't want to happen, but Mountain bike here I come! :) I love my bike!

I went out and weeded with Brianna B. all afternoon and it felt so good to sit in tehbackyard and to do something and accomplish something! Thank you so much Brianna! :-) What great company too!

Jeremiah 29:11


For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

One more day and counting - here we go!

Transformation ... from there to here...

Life is great!

More details please .....

So today I need to get some details... what to do with waste while I glow, what procedure do I have to schedule as a follow up and when do I get to start the hormone replacement therapy and get my life back?

I pray someone has answers today! :-)

It is raining like crazy but I LOVING the fact I have lost 2 pant sizes and fit in my skinny jeans again! Hope it continues! I can see my ribs and bones again (sorry if that was too much info). Growing older and after childbirth it just gets harder! :-)

I will try to post a recent picture of me today since I am so excited! :-)

Stay dry everyone is So CAL and hold on! Don't end up in Kansas!

WITHOUT GOD...

My friend just shared this with me...

WITHOUT GOD... our week would be: Sinday, Mournday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Fightday, Shatterday, Seven days without God - Makes one Weak!

Amen

Another day closer .....

I woke up today with a headache - I think the same one I had when I went to sleep. I can't complain though since I rarely get them so I went back to bed for about 45 min and it went away! Then I called the Chiropractor. I guess I owe him a lot. I told him that today and thanked him.

I went to him in September because my neck and back were bothering me. He told me "There is something up with your neck" and that got me searching. I started at the Allergist since I had had a kind rough throat and was hoarse for a while. I even thought maybe I had strep but that wasn't it. It took me 2 months to actually go see the ENT since I was scared but my glands were swollen and by that point I was so uncomfortable. The rest in history Dr Taylor rocks and knew exactly what is was - well a tumor.

Someone had asked me about whether my family was eating with me. I share some of my food (mainly the stews since that is what my family really likes) however since the normal human body needs iodine it wouldn't be safe for them to always eat with me. What is hard is staying on my diet with chocolate cookies, and yummy food all around me. At least I can smell it and enjoy sseing others enjoying their food. I also know this is only for a short time so it makes it bareable (sp?) It really isn't so bad. I really enjoy the special brownies Jackie made me and I have my peanut butter cookies (only unsalted PB, sugar and egg whites). I love PB so that holds me over as a treat and the fresh fruit. I splurged on fruit. And God is sooo good. Sam worked really hard and had some overtime which is paying for the extra needs - higher groceries than normal since we have to make 2 meals instead of one and mine all has to be fresh, non processed etc.

I am so grateful to our church who have been bringing meals every other day to sustain us. They are so selfless and we really appreciate the support and the prayer. I know I am sailing through this because of them and God's grace.

I pray now to finish well, and for my family. I pray that Sam would be lifted up as he is holding everything together at work and home and will be even more so next week. I pray a blessing on Breanna also who is holding down the the fort and helping with Joshua.

Today the sun came out after the beautiful rain yesterday and it is a new day. Praise the LORD for new beginnings.

Blessings and love to you all.

By the way I would like to offer up prayers for my friends who are also going through very tough times. One is recovering from major surgery, another might have ovarian cancer, my brothers close friend has stage 4 lung cancer. The list is endless, so many burdens that each of us carry every day. I pray for each and every one of you as the Holy Spirit leads me and intervenes. See I don't need to know the details because God knows everything. And He knows I can't keep that many details in my pea brain right now, but He knows the need and I pray to be faithful to go to HIM in prayer often and ask for all of you.

I pray HE will teach me humility, to loose me of my pride and not to take life for granted and to remember to love all others as He loves them, unconditionally as well as the other lessons that are so much harder for me like being a better wife and parent to my kids. I know I am lacking but I have a tender heart and pray to learn to do better. I am taking each day at a time sometimes each hour and pray that you all do the same. Ask Jesus to lift you up and He will! He is so tender and merciful! Have a wonderful day and "see" you all again soon!

I have to add a PS about God's sovernty and timing! If I had done this by my timing, I would have had the iodine this week, which would have probably sent me into a deep depression seeing as how it has rained most of the day and is truly gray and gloomy. As it is I can actually get out and still do small trips to the store and get gas and such. So next week will be so much better when the sun is back again or ata least not as crazy and this week. Thank You God for your will not mine!

Hurray I passed the test!

So after NOT hearing anything from my Dr on Monday I made it until this morning 9 am until I couldn't wait any more. So I called them... after being on hold for 4 minutes the verdict - my iodine levels are low enough to proceed.

So my appointment at Grossmont Hospital radiology is set for 11 with a 10:45 check in. No need to come - I will be glowing as I leave so please stay away! :-)

The deal is that I need to stay at least 3-6 ft away from everyone for 5 days. So Sam is setting me up with a TV and my laptop and covering them with plastic. I will also use gloves. I hope the hospital will go over details. Like where to put the utencils once I have used them.

The Dr didn't tell me anything about the next steps. I guess I will call about that tomorrow!

But I am just rejoicing in te LORD! HE answered my prayers! Thank you everyone - the faithful to lift me up in prayer! He heard and has answered! Now pray for safety for my family and for sanity and peace for Sam.

Here we go .....................................................