Praise the Lord ! I had a good day despite not such a good night I lay awake worrying and couldn't sleep. I didn't know that Josh and Sam both have ear pain. See in my room wiht the door closed I hear nothing from the world. I get lots of rest but am very isolated as to what is happening. I really have no clue. :-(
Sam felt Josh's pain wasn't that bad so he gave him medicine and Josh fell asleep. I was upset when I found out because it was already 10 pm - urgent care was closed and Josh was now sleeping. I felt guilty I couldn't take care of my husband or son that were both sick now. So I prayed all night for them both and that Bre would stay healthy too!
So I tossed and turned all night. Then I lay awake all night praying Josh would make it through the night so we could take him to urgent care this morning. I hadn't thought about what that would do to me - not go to sleep. So in the morning I was VERY tired and wiped out. Sam went to church (I was sad I missed it) but Breanna stayed home to hang out with Josh and I fell asleep. Hurray!
I hope he will feel well enough to go to school because tomorrow will be day 8. The hospitals say it is safe but I am not convinced so I am staying away from my family still. I wish someone had real data saying when it is safe again. I have the full body scan in one week and will feel much better then knowing something real. It is so hard because this is something you cannot see.
The only side effect I still have is my taste is off but I find if I suck on lemon drops it helps restore the taste. I like lemon candy so bonus - it is an easy thing to do! WOW! I just googled and someone said gum worked faster and they were right! I love gum so this should be easy! I didn't do it before because I had no discomfort and my glands didn't feel clogged. But I guess since I didn't chew gum over time I developed this strange taste in my mouth. Strange... well gum you are my new found friend! The gum tastes normal to me! Yippee!
I don't look forward to another week of seclusion but am praying for wisdom. I will have Sam use the geiger counter again today to see how hot I still am. It is lessening I just don't think as fast as I would like. Praying I am low enough for the parties next weekend!
I am off to watch Sleepless in Seattle - see you all soon!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
So very true ....
One of my very best girlfriends, Monique once said to me that she loved me deeply but didn't like me much at that moment. No one had ever said something like that to me before and I was shocked but really listened to her words. I thought about them and will never forget them. I thank the Lord for her boldness, love for me and for the truth. I needed to hear it. We all need to hear it. We as people can be so ugly and treat each other so unkindly at times. I am so sorry for the things I have said in the past out of anger and how we can never take them back. I was so mean to my mom when I was a teenager. I am sure she forgives me but it grieves me to this day I was so cruel to the one person who stood by me through thick and thin. Especially when she was hurting too. God does that with us too. Some people feel like they are kicked when they are down but sometimes that is the only time we truly listen. God has a still small voice at times and whispers to us but we only hear when we are listening. Are you listening today?
Today I think the hormones are kicking in as I am weepy and "feeling". The thought came to me yesterday - I am a cancer survivor. This has all happened so fast that I haven't had time emotionally to think about what that means. I am so very grateful as it could have gone so differently but by GOD's grace HE had mercy on me and gave me not what I deserve. Please don't get me wrong, no one "deserves" cancer, I just mean I am wicked and without God changing my heart, I deserve to die yet Jesus died for me.
I just want to thank everyone for their support and love and prayers. I want to HUG everyone but feel very convicted I need at least another week before it is safe. I miss hugging my husband, my kids and my friends so much that I can't stand it. I think that part of it has been as challenging as the diet.
I had been reading that the taste buds are a bit wacky after this treatment and I think mine are but I am finding that sucking on sour lemon drops really helps. They aren't that sour and actually allow me to taste better afterward. So strange. I am enjoying not "tasting" as clearly though because then I have no temptation to overeat. I am praying to keep this weight off that I lost. :-) So far so good.
My garden is doing very well except I need to transplant my broccoli. I hope to get to that this week once the kids are at school and I have a relaxing window of time to get it done.
My devotional today was:
Hebrews 4:16 (New International Version)
Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
Amen!
See you all again soon .....
PS Please pray Josh may have an ear infection.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Why do I feel queezy...
Today again I awoke with the worning sickness feeling again. Yes it felt like my nine months of pregnancy all over again. I wonder if there was something going on with my thyroid even then almost 8 years ago....
Oh well at least I am very familiar with this feeling... pretzels and toast maybe honey nut cheerios in my future (or not)... I took a really long really hot shower this morning and felt human again with all fresh clothes too. I am ready to move past this but my body isn't so one step forward one step back. I need to go slow and EVERYONE knows how much I just love to slow down. LOL Yes Even God.
So here I am - I tried a little chicken soup for lunch and gave up and went back to pretzels. My Angel sister Lori showed up and made us lasagna and cleaned out all the yucky stuff from the freezer and frig (I couldn't stomach it). Wow I have a new lease on life. Thanks for the egg burrito too - that tasted good and sat well too!
Sam surprised Josh with a special subway lunch at school. All in all he has been a trooper through this. I am not sure how much he really understands about my condition because you can't see radiation but we have just kept the door locked and he has respected that. He has grown up these past couple of weeks and that was important for him too. I think Sam has something planned for him also tonight to encourage him for all his support and working hard this week at school.
We had told him all along Saturday he can hug me again yet I read more and more stuff online that it still isn't safe for him to be around me. I am thinking Sam will need to explain fast short hugs but then stay away at least for 8 days and then only moderate contact for the next few weeks. I think Sam will try to come back into our room also after the 8th day. He is see how much I am still buzzing.
It is so hard to know what is truly safe for them. Although we do know my levels are diminishing according to the geiger counter; it is an older one and cannot say from where the source comes. I am scheduled for a full body scan Feb 8th - 2 weeks from taking the pills. I would know then if my neck is the only hot spot left (I pray!)
I pray my stomach would get better but again time will tell. So here I go waiting for the Lord's perfect will and timing again. I am giving up and going to nap as my body says it is time. See you all later!
1 Thessalonians 5:17-18 (New International Version)
pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Amen
Oh well at least I am very familiar with this feeling... pretzels and toast maybe honey nut cheerios in my future (or not)... I took a really long really hot shower this morning and felt human again with all fresh clothes too. I am ready to move past this but my body isn't so one step forward one step back. I need to go slow and EVERYONE knows how much I just love to slow down. LOL Yes Even God.
So here I am - I tried a little chicken soup for lunch and gave up and went back to pretzels. My Angel sister Lori showed up and made us lasagna and cleaned out all the yucky stuff from the freezer and frig (I couldn't stomach it). Wow I have a new lease on life. Thanks for the egg burrito too - that tasted good and sat well too!
Sam surprised Josh with a special subway lunch at school. All in all he has been a trooper through this. I am not sure how much he really understands about my condition because you can't see radiation but we have just kept the door locked and he has respected that. He has grown up these past couple of weeks and that was important for him too. I think Sam has something planned for him also tonight to encourage him for all his support and working hard this week at school.
We had told him all along Saturday he can hug me again yet I read more and more stuff online that it still isn't safe for him to be around me. I am thinking Sam will need to explain fast short hugs but then stay away at least for 8 days and then only moderate contact for the next few weeks. I think Sam will try to come back into our room also after the 8th day. He is see how much I am still buzzing.
It is so hard to know what is truly safe for them. Although we do know my levels are diminishing according to the geiger counter; it is an older one and cannot say from where the source comes. I am scheduled for a full body scan Feb 8th - 2 weeks from taking the pills. I would know then if my neck is the only hot spot left (I pray!)
I pray my stomach would get better but again time will tell. So here I go waiting for the Lord's perfect will and timing again. I am giving up and going to nap as my body says it is time. See you all later!
1 Thessalonians 5:17-18 (New International Version)
pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Amen
Thursday, January 28, 2010
I Made it ......
I am praying continually; giving thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for me (and you) in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:17-18 (NIV).
Thank you God! I made it through hopefully the worst part - off to take my first synthroid (for the rest of my life). Praying I keep the - 10 lbs off :-)
I spent about 1 hour in the backyard weeding again. I didn't want to do too much but it was so nice to get back outside again. What a beauitful day with blue skies and sunshine after the rain. Sam checked me and my "hot factor" is less so I think the 5 days might really be true when I can rejoin people again! YIPPEE!
I found the solution to my upset tummy - REAL food! After the toast sat well at breakfast - Sam went out and got us some no salt In n Out Burgers for lunch! Talk about a feast! Now I am worn out! What a great morning! (Of course I could only eat about half but I tried! Yumm!)
Now for my nap!
Thank you God! I made it through hopefully the worst part - off to take my first synthroid (for the rest of my life). Praying I keep the - 10 lbs off :-)
I spent about 1 hour in the backyard weeding again. I didn't want to do too much but it was so nice to get back outside again. What a beauitful day with blue skies and sunshine after the rain. Sam checked me and my "hot factor" is less so I think the 5 days might really be true when I can rejoin people again! YIPPEE!
I found the solution to my upset tummy - REAL food! After the toast sat well at breakfast - Sam went out and got us some no salt In n Out Burgers for lunch! Talk about a feast! Now I am worn out! What a great morning! (Of course I could only eat about half but I tried! Yumm!)
Now for my nap!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
A tough day...
Hump day and it sure was..... It began with a very rough night. I awoke in a heavy sweat about 3 am. I felt dizzy and nauseous so I prayed for strength to make it to the bathroom. I managed about 3:30 am but the good thing was that my stomach had settled a bit and the sweating stopped so I was more confident. Then the silly toilet OVERFLOWED! I panicked and called out to Sam as my heart began to race - what to do?! I grabbed towels and began soaking up the water and placing the wet towels in a large dark garbage bag. Since I have to flush twice each time I was worried so I put on a pair of gloves and went and got the plunger just in case. Praise be to God, the 2nd time it was fine.
After all the excitement, I remembered to turn off the clock alarm and was able to sleep in. Sam got the kids to school and when he got back we "watched" Heroes together. I sat in the kitchen and he on the couch. I was feeling really lonely since yesterday so he spoiled me. :-)
Then when he went to pick up kids and run some errands, I went out to the backyard and picked weeds for about 1 hour. I felt much better - my stomach had settled and thought the fresh air would do me good. I ate a good lunch with noodles, chicken broth and green beans and then it began again. UGH! So he came back with ginger from Henry's. I love this stuff.
Then about 3 pm I realized I had completely forgot tot take any of my meds! Oh no.........
After sucking on another ginger mint, I fell asleep and woke up to an empty house about 5 pm. I haven't been wearing my watch so I am a bit disoriented as to which day it is. But I made it....
The great news.... tomorrow I begin my synthroid AND no more special diet! Phew! I made it this far I can do the next part!
Sam came back after dropping off Bre with 2 slices of fresh rosemary bread from Henry's. I toasted one and ate it for dinner and it felt good so far.
I am beat! So I think I will take a nice long shower in a bit and then crawl back into my cocoon (2 slipped together sleeping bags) and pray it be Thursday sooner! It s a praise I have had no problems sleeping (except for the night sweats) this whole time. That has truly been awesome.
Josh and Bre had pretty good days also except Sam told me Josh threw up last night so maybe he and I have some tummy bug. I have kept everything down so far but I pray it be gone soon.
See you all tomorrow! I look forward to some real food, however bland, it will still be better then my special diet! Yippee! Almost there Lord thank you!
G'nite all! I've lost 10 lbs so far yippee!
PS I still don't have any clue as to the next steps. The Dr had told me I would have a scan one week later (next Monday) but the hospital doesn't have any orders for that scan. I called Marlena yet again and she will be back in the office tomorrow. Sigh. Hurray and wait. I will try a again tomorrow.
PPS the instructions and notes about synthroid are very interesting - I must not take anything with iron calcium for 4 hours after taking it and cannot have ginsing or herbal teas. I will ask about that also. I assume they mean the doctored up kinds not the pepperment and lemon calm decaff. that I drink. :-) So heres to learning about this new world of food again.
WHY is it when you are sick to our stomach those are the commercials on every channel AND the old shows on daytime TV? What a waste. I read my bible and studied and prayed instead. Thank you God for a sweet time with you!
After all the excitement, I remembered to turn off the clock alarm and was able to sleep in. Sam got the kids to school and when he got back we "watched" Heroes together. I sat in the kitchen and he on the couch. I was feeling really lonely since yesterday so he spoiled me. :-)
Then when he went to pick up kids and run some errands, I went out to the backyard and picked weeds for about 1 hour. I felt much better - my stomach had settled and thought the fresh air would do me good. I ate a good lunch with noodles, chicken broth and green beans and then it began again. UGH! So he came back with ginger from Henry's. I love this stuff.
Then about 3 pm I realized I had completely forgot tot take any of my meds! Oh no.........
After sucking on another ginger mint, I fell asleep and woke up to an empty house about 5 pm. I haven't been wearing my watch so I am a bit disoriented as to which day it is. But I made it....
The great news.... tomorrow I begin my synthroid AND no more special diet! Phew! I made it this far I can do the next part!
Sam came back after dropping off Bre with 2 slices of fresh rosemary bread from Henry's. I toasted one and ate it for dinner and it felt good so far.
I am beat! So I think I will take a nice long shower in a bit and then crawl back into my cocoon (2 slipped together sleeping bags) and pray it be Thursday sooner! It s a praise I have had no problems sleeping (except for the night sweats) this whole time. That has truly been awesome.
Josh and Bre had pretty good days also except Sam told me Josh threw up last night so maybe he and I have some tummy bug. I have kept everything down so far but I pray it be gone soon.
See you all tomorrow! I look forward to some real food, however bland, it will still be better then my special diet! Yippee! Almost there Lord thank you!
G'nite all! I've lost 10 lbs so far yippee!
PS I still don't have any clue as to the next steps. The Dr had told me I would have a scan one week later (next Monday) but the hospital doesn't have any orders for that scan. I called Marlena yet again and she will be back in the office tomorrow. Sigh. Hurray and wait. I will try a again tomorrow.
PPS the instructions and notes about synthroid are very interesting - I must not take anything with iron calcium for 4 hours after taking it and cannot have ginsing or herbal teas. I will ask about that also. I assume they mean the doctored up kinds not the pepperment and lemon calm decaff. that I drink. :-) So heres to learning about this new world of food again.
WHY is it when you are sick to our stomach those are the commercials on every channel AND the old shows on daytime TV? What a waste. I read my bible and studied and prayed instead. Thank you God for a sweet time with you!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Raspie (is that how you spell it?)
Hurray one day conquered - on to the next.
My throat is a bit hoarse again and a bit tender but not so bad. I don't really have much appetite and my tummy is a bit upset today. I was restless last night (it was too quiet with snoring next to me) so I don't sleep as well. Feeling kinda under the weather helps me stay in bed so I guess that is a good thing. Bre had a fun thing this morning checking how "hot" her step mom was with the geiger counter! I wonder if she could feel my "force" - better be the good one! But she did say her brain was melting - but Sam retorted that was not unusual for a teen.....
Thank you God for Laughter - we sure have it in our home!
I downed about 6 bottles of water yesterday once I got home so off to drink another one. See yas later
My throat is a bit hoarse again and a bit tender but not so bad. I don't really have much appetite and my tummy is a bit upset today. I was restless last night (it was too quiet with snoring next to me) so I don't sleep as well. Feeling kinda under the weather helps me stay in bed so I guess that is a good thing. Bre had a fun thing this morning checking how "hot" her step mom was with the geiger counter! I wonder if she could feel my "force" - better be the good one! But she did say her brain was melting - but Sam retorted that was not unusual for a teen.....
Thank you God for Laughter - we sure have it in our home!
I downed about 6 bottles of water yesterday once I got home so off to drink another one. See yas later
Monday, January 25, 2010
Am I what? Pregnant....
So I had to wait an additional hour as they double checked for me and then around noon I got my 2 capsules of the glowing stuff. It was not a big deal. The Dr and tech explained the rules of contact - staying away 3-6 ft for 5 days and then as time goes on worry less. They explained the 8 day half life (so 80 days total) and the funniest part that I will neeed to carry a card at all times for those 80 days as I will set off alarms: at the airport, some firetrucks and stations, courthouses and border patrol! Yippeee! No jury duty for me for a while - oh yeah I have a year before the year summons! rats I would have had fun with that excuse!
But seriously I know they say I can "go back to work" after 2 days but I wish to stay away from pregnant women and small children for much longer. They say just 3 ft is safe after a week but please if you are my friend and may be pregnant (or are trying), please sit a bit away from me! :-) and keep your adorable little ones away too. Sam thinks I am "over the top" but I love you too much to risk anything.
Now the good news ... after taking the pills I drove home and fell asleep (probably from the excitement AND the early morning benadryl I took). After 1 hour, I drank water and now after 2 hours, I was able to eat again. I have a bit of tingling in my glands - where my thyroid was, but other than that nothing. PRAISE the LORD! NO symptoms - which sometimes makes it harder to remember to stay away. So I am in my room with the door locked.
Josh was feeling better today so I hope he can go back to school tomorrow. He got his appetite back as well finally.
Sam is getting Bre and then the geiger counter! It will be fun to see where I am hot.
So the countdown has begun - looking forward to Thursday when I can drop this diet, begin the synthroid and feel a bit more human again and then Saturday when I can come out from my shell and hang with people again!
Thank you all so much for your prayers! Again they were answered and so far no side effects. Phew! I will sleep really well tonight!
TTYL
It's time and here I go!
Well I woke up and prayers for peace as I was having uncomfortable thoughts. Most of them were due to the fact I ate dinner way too late and then fell asleep. Now my peace has been restored and I am ready and eager. Our plan is to take 2 cars since Josh is still sick. Sam and Josh will run a few errands too to get my fresh fruit while I settle into my "vacation room".
I really am fully at peace with this and pray it do its work for me.
I had made a list of all them prep things I needed to do and had plenty of time with Sam's help getting there. I also discovered I could put the cell and house phone in a ziploc and protect it so I didn't have to grab gloves fast. I also covered my headboard and keyboard in plastic so I feel more rested. I am sure it isn't as bad as all that but I need to relax and not worry and since I have the tendance to worry this puts my mind at ease. Sam just laughs in support. Yes my Nuclear expert said "good job honey!"
I had a wonderful talk with a friend who suffers from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome last night. I have a better understanding what that means now. Granted I am sure it is just a glimmer but I have really been lifting her up to the Lord for strength, wisdom and to be free from pain. At the same time I PRAISE the Lord mine is temporary and that he has me on another assignment once I recover.
Thank you GOD for your mercies as they are new every morning! See you all on the other side...... soon!
I really am fully at peace with this and pray it do its work for me.
I had made a list of all them prep things I needed to do and had plenty of time with Sam's help getting there. I also discovered I could put the cell and house phone in a ziploc and protect it so I didn't have to grab gloves fast. I also covered my headboard and keyboard in plastic so I feel more rested. I am sure it isn't as bad as all that but I need to relax and not worry and since I have the tendance to worry this puts my mind at ease. Sam just laughs in support. Yes my Nuclear expert said "good job honey!"
I had a wonderful talk with a friend who suffers from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome last night. I have a better understanding what that means now. Granted I am sure it is just a glimmer but I have really been lifting her up to the Lord for strength, wisdom and to be free from pain. At the same time I PRAISE the Lord mine is temporary and that he has me on another assignment once I recover.
Thank you GOD for your mercies as they are new every morning! See you all on the other side...... soon!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Like Christmas Eve ....
Today Sam and I spent most of the day preparing for my "vacation" in my room alone! It was just like the Disney movie Prep and Landing! We are almost there...
I made a check list and am almost done. Now we just have to wait to see if Josh is better tomorrow but so far he has no appetite. Not a good sign and Bre is feeling yucky too.
If anyone is interested I decided to take 2 sleeping bags and open them up and then zip them together to place on top of our bed. Sam has moved his stuff out and I clear teh bathroom of only essentials for me. I have a plastic cover for my keyboard, and pillow, have my computer and TV now in the bedroom and I put my clothes for this week in a plastic container ready for me to access them. I also have 2 kinds of plastic gloves depending what I need to be able to do. I have paper plates, plastic cups and plastic utencils for each meal. I have bottled water and cups also but Sam plans to leave each day so I can get out a bit and stretch.
I weeded yesterday and my body is complaining! I am so sore so I won't do that much again until I am better.
Well I better get cooking. That is the last piece. I have some pasta to make and put in containers to hold me over and then I should be good to go! I am excited to get this over this so .... bring it on and THANK you God for peace! and thank you to the many many people holding me up in prayer! God is listening!
I made a check list and am almost done. Now we just have to wait to see if Josh is better tomorrow but so far he has no appetite. Not a good sign and Bre is feeling yucky too.
If anyone is interested I decided to take 2 sleeping bags and open them up and then zip them together to place on top of our bed. Sam has moved his stuff out and I clear teh bathroom of only essentials for me. I have a plastic cover for my keyboard, and pillow, have my computer and TV now in the bedroom and I put my clothes for this week in a plastic container ready for me to access them. I also have 2 kinds of plastic gloves depending what I need to be able to do. I have paper plates, plastic cups and plastic utencils for each meal. I have bottled water and cups also but Sam plans to leave each day so I can get out a bit and stretch.
I weeded yesterday and my body is complaining! I am so sore so I won't do that much again until I am better.
Well I better get cooking. That is the last piece. I have some pasta to make and put in containers to hold me over and then I should be good to go! I am excited to get this over this so .... bring it on and THANK you God for peace! and thank you to the many many people holding me up in prayer! God is listening!
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Almost here .....
As the time draws closer I find myself getting nervous. I am not sure what to expect. I have already had my quick panic attack yesterday but was called by our insurance case manager and then the health care nurse and then finally the Nurse Supervisor. I felt very loved and well taken care of at that point. I only panicked a bit when the supervisor said your radiation is when ? and did they request authorization for this procedure? Yikes! And they are on East Coast time so yes at 4:30 Pacific time I panicked. But Jane the supervisor nurse gave me her cell number and told me she would get it approved and not to worry. She even sent me a text later and said it was in the works.
I also got a hold of the other Endrochronoligt's office only to find out everyone is bailing from Dr Fink and there is now a 2 month waiting period for new patients. The nurse was very open and frank, and told me that he is a very good Dr but his staff lack follow through. She said just call and make appts with the Dr and speak to him directly. That was good advise. She was impressed at how fast everything had moved along for me so I guess I am in good hands.
Now sure how it will go since Josh is now sick. We bought a new thermometer but I don't trust it 100 %. It always says I at like 96 even when I feel hot. Anyway it said Josh was 98 so we were thinking if it were off 2 degrees we believe it. That would mean Josh has a low grade fever. NO church for him tomorrow and I personally do not want to stay home with him and chance getting it. I just have to last a few more days.
So the deal is proceedure at 11 am - no eating 2 hours before and after. We may have to take 2 cars so Josh can stay out with Dad until I am settled into the room and door is locked. I think I have to hang out a little bit just to make usre it doen't come back up (please pray) and then I am sent home to drink fluids! Then it is 5 days and counting. The follow up will be in 2 weeks and will be some type of scan - I will need prayer to not panick - I have never had to lay in a machine but I have anxiety sometimes and a little of clostropobia which I hope will go away once I have synthroid. :-)
But first things first. Please pray I tolerate the pill easily and do not have too much pain in thyroid area, ears or saliva glands. I didn't have pain the first time but you never know. Each thing is different. I also pray this will work and do what it needs to do. They say I may gain weight once on the synthroid which I don't want to happen, but Mountain bike here I come! :) I love my bike!
I went out and weeded with Brianna B. all afternoon and it felt so good to sit in tehbackyard and to do something and accomplish something! Thank you so much Brianna! :-) What great company too!
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
One more day and counting - here we go!
I also got a hold of the other Endrochronoligt's office only to find out everyone is bailing from Dr Fink and there is now a 2 month waiting period for new patients. The nurse was very open and frank, and told me that he is a very good Dr but his staff lack follow through. She said just call and make appts with the Dr and speak to him directly. That was good advise. She was impressed at how fast everything had moved along for me so I guess I am in good hands.
Now sure how it will go since Josh is now sick. We bought a new thermometer but I don't trust it 100 %. It always says I at like 96 even when I feel hot. Anyway it said Josh was 98 so we were thinking if it were off 2 degrees we believe it. That would mean Josh has a low grade fever. NO church for him tomorrow and I personally do not want to stay home with him and chance getting it. I just have to last a few more days.
So the deal is proceedure at 11 am - no eating 2 hours before and after. We may have to take 2 cars so Josh can stay out with Dad until I am settled into the room and door is locked. I think I have to hang out a little bit just to make usre it doen't come back up (please pray) and then I am sent home to drink fluids! Then it is 5 days and counting. The follow up will be in 2 weeks and will be some type of scan - I will need prayer to not panick - I have never had to lay in a machine but I have anxiety sometimes and a little of clostropobia which I hope will go away once I have synthroid. :-)
But first things first. Please pray I tolerate the pill easily and do not have too much pain in thyroid area, ears or saliva glands. I didn't have pain the first time but you never know. Each thing is different. I also pray this will work and do what it needs to do. They say I may gain weight once on the synthroid which I don't want to happen, but Mountain bike here I come! :) I love my bike!
I went out and weeded with Brianna B. all afternoon and it felt so good to sit in tehbackyard and to do something and accomplish something! Thank you so much Brianna! :-) What great company too!
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
One more day and counting - here we go!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
More details please .....
So today I need to get some details... what to do with waste while I glow, what procedure do I have to schedule as a follow up and when do I get to start the hormone replacement therapy and get my life back?
I pray someone has answers today! :-)
It is raining like crazy but I LOVING the fact I have lost 2 pant sizes and fit in my skinny jeans again! Hope it continues! I can see my ribs and bones again (sorry if that was too much info). Growing older and after childbirth it just gets harder! :-)
I will try to post a recent picture of me today since I am so excited! :-)
Stay dry everyone is So CAL and hold on! Don't end up in Kansas!
I pray someone has answers today! :-)
It is raining like crazy but I LOVING the fact I have lost 2 pant sizes and fit in my skinny jeans again! Hope it continues! I can see my ribs and bones again (sorry if that was too much info). Growing older and after childbirth it just gets harder! :-)
I will try to post a recent picture of me today since I am so excited! :-)
Stay dry everyone is So CAL and hold on! Don't end up in Kansas!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
WITHOUT GOD...
My friend just shared this with me...
WITHOUT GOD... our week would be: Sinday, Mournday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Fightday, Shatterday, Seven days without God - Makes one Weak!
Amen
WITHOUT GOD... our week would be: Sinday, Mournday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Fightday, Shatterday, Seven days without God - Makes one Weak!
Amen
Another day closer .....
I woke up today with a headache - I think the same one I had when I went to sleep. I can't complain though since I rarely get them so I went back to bed for about 45 min and it went away! Then I called the Chiropractor. I guess I owe him a lot. I told him that today and thanked him.
I went to him in September because my neck and back were bothering me. He told me "There is something up with your neck" and that got me searching. I started at the Allergist since I had had a kind rough throat and was hoarse for a while. I even thought maybe I had strep but that wasn't it. It took me 2 months to actually go see the ENT since I was scared but my glands were swollen and by that point I was so uncomfortable. The rest in history Dr Taylor rocks and knew exactly what is was - well a tumor.
Someone had asked me about whether my family was eating with me. I share some of my food (mainly the stews since that is what my family really likes) however since the normal human body needs iodine it wouldn't be safe for them to always eat with me. What is hard is staying on my diet with chocolate cookies, and yummy food all around me. At least I can smell it and enjoy sseing others enjoying their food. I also know this is only for a short time so it makes it bareable (sp?) It really isn't so bad. I really enjoy the special brownies Jackie made me and I have my peanut butter cookies (only unsalted PB, sugar and egg whites). I love PB so that holds me over as a treat and the fresh fruit. I splurged on fruit. And God is sooo good. Sam worked really hard and had some overtime which is paying for the extra needs - higher groceries than normal since we have to make 2 meals instead of one and mine all has to be fresh, non processed etc.
I am so grateful to our church who have been bringing meals every other day to sustain us. They are so selfless and we really appreciate the support and the prayer. I know I am sailing through this because of them and God's grace.
I pray now to finish well, and for my family. I pray that Sam would be lifted up as he is holding everything together at work and home and will be even more so next week. I pray a blessing on Breanna also who is holding down the the fort and helping with Joshua.
Today the sun came out after the beautiful rain yesterday and it is a new day. Praise the LORD for new beginnings.
Blessings and love to you all.
By the way I would like to offer up prayers for my friends who are also going through very tough times. One is recovering from major surgery, another might have ovarian cancer, my brothers close friend has stage 4 lung cancer. The list is endless, so many burdens that each of us carry every day. I pray for each and every one of you as the Holy Spirit leads me and intervenes. See I don't need to know the details because God knows everything. And He knows I can't keep that many details in my pea brain right now, but He knows the need and I pray to be faithful to go to HIM in prayer often and ask for all of you.
I pray HE will teach me humility, to loose me of my pride and not to take life for granted and to remember to love all others as He loves them, unconditionally as well as the other lessons that are so much harder for me like being a better wife and parent to my kids. I know I am lacking but I have a tender heart and pray to learn to do better. I am taking each day at a time sometimes each hour and pray that you all do the same. Ask Jesus to lift you up and He will! He is so tender and merciful! Have a wonderful day and "see" you all again soon!
I have to add a PS about God's sovernty and timing! If I had done this by my timing, I would have had the iodine this week, which would have probably sent me into a deep depression seeing as how it has rained most of the day and is truly gray and gloomy. As it is I can actually get out and still do small trips to the store and get gas and such. So next week will be so much better when the sun is back again or ata least not as crazy and this week. Thank You God for your will not mine!
I went to him in September because my neck and back were bothering me. He told me "There is something up with your neck" and that got me searching. I started at the Allergist since I had had a kind rough throat and was hoarse for a while. I even thought maybe I had strep but that wasn't it. It took me 2 months to actually go see the ENT since I was scared but my glands were swollen and by that point I was so uncomfortable. The rest in history Dr Taylor rocks and knew exactly what is was - well a tumor.
Someone had asked me about whether my family was eating with me. I share some of my food (mainly the stews since that is what my family really likes) however since the normal human body needs iodine it wouldn't be safe for them to always eat with me. What is hard is staying on my diet with chocolate cookies, and yummy food all around me. At least I can smell it and enjoy sseing others enjoying their food. I also know this is only for a short time so it makes it bareable (sp?) It really isn't so bad. I really enjoy the special brownies Jackie made me and I have my peanut butter cookies (only unsalted PB, sugar and egg whites). I love PB so that holds me over as a treat and the fresh fruit. I splurged on fruit. And God is sooo good. Sam worked really hard and had some overtime which is paying for the extra needs - higher groceries than normal since we have to make 2 meals instead of one and mine all has to be fresh, non processed etc.
I am so grateful to our church who have been bringing meals every other day to sustain us. They are so selfless and we really appreciate the support and the prayer. I know I am sailing through this because of them and God's grace.
I pray now to finish well, and for my family. I pray that Sam would be lifted up as he is holding everything together at work and home and will be even more so next week. I pray a blessing on Breanna also who is holding down the the fort and helping with Joshua.
Today the sun came out after the beautiful rain yesterday and it is a new day. Praise the LORD for new beginnings.
Blessings and love to you all.
By the way I would like to offer up prayers for my friends who are also going through very tough times. One is recovering from major surgery, another might have ovarian cancer, my brothers close friend has stage 4 lung cancer. The list is endless, so many burdens that each of us carry every day. I pray for each and every one of you as the Holy Spirit leads me and intervenes. See I don't need to know the details because God knows everything. And He knows I can't keep that many details in my pea brain right now, but He knows the need and I pray to be faithful to go to HIM in prayer often and ask for all of you.
I pray HE will teach me humility, to loose me of my pride and not to take life for granted and to remember to love all others as He loves them, unconditionally as well as the other lessons that are so much harder for me like being a better wife and parent to my kids. I know I am lacking but I have a tender heart and pray to learn to do better. I am taking each day at a time sometimes each hour and pray that you all do the same. Ask Jesus to lift you up and He will! He is so tender and merciful! Have a wonderful day and "see" you all again soon!
I have to add a PS about God's sovernty and timing! If I had done this by my timing, I would have had the iodine this week, which would have probably sent me into a deep depression seeing as how it has rained most of the day and is truly gray and gloomy. As it is I can actually get out and still do small trips to the store and get gas and such. So next week will be so much better when the sun is back again or ata least not as crazy and this week. Thank You God for your will not mine!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Hurray I passed the test!
So after NOT hearing anything from my Dr on Monday I made it until this morning 9 am until I couldn't wait any more. So I called them... after being on hold for 4 minutes the verdict - my iodine levels are low enough to proceed.
So my appointment at Grossmont Hospital radiology is set for 11 with a 10:45 check in. No need to come - I will be glowing as I leave so please stay away! :-)
The deal is that I need to stay at least 3-6 ft away from everyone for 5 days. So Sam is setting me up with a TV and my laptop and covering them with plastic. I will also use gloves. I hope the hospital will go over details. Like where to put the utencils once I have used them.
The Dr didn't tell me anything about the next steps. I guess I will call about that tomorrow!
But I am just rejoicing in te LORD! HE answered my prayers! Thank you everyone - the faithful to lift me up in prayer! He heard and has answered! Now pray for safety for my family and for sanity and peace for Sam.
Here we go .....................................................
So my appointment at Grossmont Hospital radiology is set for 11 with a 10:45 check in. No need to come - I will be glowing as I leave so please stay away! :-)
The deal is that I need to stay at least 3-6 ft away from everyone for 5 days. So Sam is setting me up with a TV and my laptop and covering them with plastic. I will also use gloves. I hope the hospital will go over details. Like where to put the utencils once I have used them.
The Dr didn't tell me anything about the next steps. I guess I will call about that tomorrow!
But I am just rejoicing in te LORD! HE answered my prayers! Thank you everyone - the faithful to lift me up in prayer! He heard and has answered! Now pray for safety for my family and for sanity and peace for Sam.
Here we go .....................................................
Sunday, January 17, 2010
The Easter Bunny came to visit me - or an Angel!
Today was a good day! While we were at church, my sister snuck in and cooked homemade spaghetti sauce, BBQ beef, Pulled pork AND also cleaned, straightened and even washed the dishes and windows! What a Saint! Thank you Easter Bunny!
I am again more with the program of just waiting on the Lord for HIS perfect timing when I will be "done". I feel like I am just on a life "time out" and I am going with the flow.
I am praying my blood work will be positive tomorrow but I will wait for the Dr to call me.
I am on the books for Grossmont for the 25th so just praying that will be a go since Sam took that week off.
When I reflect, I can see God's perfect timing for the change. It is suppose to rain all next week. Monday is a school holiday and Wed - Friday are half days. I had prayed for my family to be safe so waiting a week will make it much safer in my home as Josh and Brea will be gone most of the day at school and Sam can help me during the mornings if I need it.
Life is great and I am thankful for every breath each day! Today's sermon at church was about being humble and letting go of pride. I know I struggle with that lesson, so I am embracing the opportunity to learn from this all.
See you tomorrow!
I am again more with the program of just waiting on the Lord for HIS perfect timing when I will be "done". I feel like I am just on a life "time out" and I am going with the flow.
I am praying my blood work will be positive tomorrow but I will wait for the Dr to call me.
I am on the books for Grossmont for the 25th so just praying that will be a go since Sam took that week off.
When I reflect, I can see God's perfect timing for the change. It is suppose to rain all next week. Monday is a school holiday and Wed - Friday are half days. I had prayed for my family to be safe so waiting a week will make it much safer in my home as Josh and Brea will be gone most of the day at school and Sam can help me during the mornings if I need it.
Life is great and I am thankful for every breath each day! Today's sermon at church was about being humble and letting go of pride. I know I struggle with that lesson, so I am embracing the opportunity to learn from this all.
See you tomorrow!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Did I say I was tired....
I woke up tired again. I think since I forgot to eat lunch yesterday my schedule was wierd and so I ate dinner really late. Never go to bed after just eating. It leads to strange dreams. They weren't bad ones, I was just restless.
So Sam got up and took Josh most of the day and I rested. I fell asleep again around 1 and woke up about 3pm. I feel alittle better but again I ate lunch late (at 3) so I will try to remember to snack earlier and just go to bed at 8 pm.
I am also looking on the brighter side. With a whole week in between if I don't pass the blood test Monday, maybe I can try again later that week and still keep my appt. And I can go to church and bible study and be fed with God's word. That is encouraging.
I am also praying a lot and working on music sets for worship. I pray the Lord inspire me musically. He has restored peace for me as I wait too. I just need a brain again to remember things. I have been enjoying my gardening. I had 2 green bell peppers but the 2nd one disappeared. I think we have a raccoon.
See you tomorrow.
So Sam got up and took Josh most of the day and I rested. I fell asleep again around 1 and woke up about 3pm. I feel alittle better but again I ate lunch late (at 3) so I will try to remember to snack earlier and just go to bed at 8 pm.
I am also looking on the brighter side. With a whole week in between if I don't pass the blood test Monday, maybe I can try again later that week and still keep my appt. And I can go to church and bible study and be fed with God's word. That is encouraging.
I am also praying a lot and working on music sets for worship. I pray the Lord inspire me musically. He has restored peace for me as I wait too. I just need a brain again to remember things. I have been enjoying my gardening. I had 2 green bell peppers but the 2nd one disappeared. I think we have a raccoon.
See you tomorrow.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Ugh.........
Well I woke up anxious. Today is the day. I called the Dr office only for them to tell me I would have to wait until after lunch for the results. So I called back after lunch and after 10 minutes on hold, the nurse tells me it still isn't "processed yet". So I asked "are you waiting for the lab to get back to you or for the Dr to tell you what it means?" the answer was "Oh we have the lab inhouse, so it just isn't processed yet."
Kathy breathe........ the response was then we will call you back when it prints out.
I am losing my patience with incompetence. I would change Doctors now, however if I can get the treatment next week I don't want anything to interfere with that.
After all of this, I plan to call my surgeon and ask the another referral. I am more than disappointed with the lack of concern, lack of follow through and lack of professionalism with this endocronologist.
So hurry and wait - I can't call and get my hospital appt either until my blood work is back. So now I wait.....
Well I got the call from the Dr now who said the blood work will not be back until Monday the 8th. As soon as I get word I will be changing doctors. He is so insensitive and rude. I called and asked questions a week and a half ago and then he calls me at 4:30 pm on a Friday. I would have respect for him if he offered an apology or explanation but I felt like he was giving me "the hand". Where is the compassion in that?
However I prayed the Lord's will ~ not mine, and for HIS timing so I am hearing that VERY clearly. I am to wait. The good news is Grossmont hospital did put me on their schedule for Monday the 25th at 11 am for the pill. And Sam was able to rearrange everything yet again and will take that week off. Hurray.
Sorry for the self pity - did I say how much I love to GIVE and how hard it is for me to receive.....
Thank God for Josh who reminded me - it is time to make a surprise B Day party for Dad!
I LOVE my family! I am truly so blessed!
I thnk the Lord for the outcome, for HIS timing and pray He help me wait for Monday's results.
Kathy breathe........ the response was then we will call you back when it prints out.
I am losing my patience with incompetence. I would change Doctors now, however if I can get the treatment next week I don't want anything to interfere with that.
After all of this, I plan to call my surgeon and ask the another referral. I am more than disappointed with the lack of concern, lack of follow through and lack of professionalism with this endocronologist.
So hurry and wait - I can't call and get my hospital appt either until my blood work is back. So now I wait.....
Well I got the call from the Dr now who said the blood work will not be back until Monday the 8th. As soon as I get word I will be changing doctors. He is so insensitive and rude. I called and asked questions a week and a half ago and then he calls me at 4:30 pm on a Friday. I would have respect for him if he offered an apology or explanation but I felt like he was giving me "the hand". Where is the compassion in that?
However I prayed the Lord's will ~ not mine, and for HIS timing so I am hearing that VERY clearly. I am to wait. The good news is Grossmont hospital did put me on their schedule for Monday the 25th at 11 am for the pill. And Sam was able to rearrange everything yet again and will take that week off. Hurray.
Sorry for the self pity - did I say how much I love to GIVE and how hard it is for me to receive.....
Thank God for Josh who reminded me - it is time to make a surprise B Day party for Dad!
I LOVE my family! I am truly so blessed!
I thnk the Lord for the outcome, for HIS timing and pray He help me wait for Monday's results.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Blood Draw - continued
So they said I could not eat immediately before I take the pill on Wed but didn't give me details about that yet. For the test on Friday, I can't eat for about 2 hours before the test. I will need to find a place for Josh depending on the time I get both treatments since Sam has to drive me to them. But that I can figure out later....
So the deal is that I am getting 100 milicules - from what they say it is a normal amount or what most people get. Once I get it I must stay away from people (specifically small children and pregnant women for at least 2 days) 3 ft for 5 days however their documentation said I could return to work on the 3rd day. YIKES! God thing I am not working I would not want to jeopardize anyone so no I will make it 5 days seclusion. She said the more I drink water and juices the more it will be flushed out of my system so I am ready for that.
I guess the test on Friday will show how successful they were in removing all cancer cells from my body - so that will be interesting.
ON a side note the endocronologist didn't even have a copy of my surgery pathology report in my file - only from the needle biopsy. I panicked when I heard this. How could they know the margins were clear yikes!
So after I left there I went to see my surgeon. They are really on top of it all over there so I got a copy form them. It reads real nice and said clear margins and stuff like that. Hurray!
My voice is returning - I still can't sing like I could before yet but my neck and insision is still healing. There is still some redness and swelling so I am hopeful.
So now I wait with baited breathe for tomorrow's findings. I hope I pass! TTYL
Praise the LORD of all the universe who already knows the outcome!
Psalms 3:4-5, 8
"To the LORD I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill. Selah
I lie down and sleep; I wake again because the LORD sustains me.
From the LORD comes deliverance. May your blessing be on your people. Selah"
So the deal is that I am getting 100 milicules - from what they say it is a normal amount or what most people get. Once I get it I must stay away from people (specifically small children and pregnant women for at least 2 days) 3 ft for 5 days however their documentation said I could return to work on the 3rd day. YIKES! God thing I am not working I would not want to jeopardize anyone so no I will make it 5 days seclusion. She said the more I drink water and juices the more it will be flushed out of my system so I am ready for that.
I guess the test on Friday will show how successful they were in removing all cancer cells from my body - so that will be interesting.
ON a side note the endocronologist didn't even have a copy of my surgery pathology report in my file - only from the needle biopsy. I panicked when I heard this. How could they know the margins were clear yikes!
So after I left there I went to see my surgeon. They are really on top of it all over there so I got a copy form them. It reads real nice and said clear margins and stuff like that. Hurray!
My voice is returning - I still can't sing like I could before yet but my neck and insision is still healing. There is still some redness and swelling so I am hopeful.
So now I wait with baited breathe for tomorrow's findings. I hope I pass! TTYL
Praise the LORD of all the universe who already knows the outcome!
Psalms 3:4-5, 8
"To the LORD I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill. Selah
I lie down and sleep; I wake again because the LORD sustains me.
From the LORD comes deliverance. May your blessing be on your people. Selah"
Blood draw....
Well I met the best blood drawer in all of San Diego! I have been stuck quite a bit and I didn't even feel it - and that with 2 vials taken ! Wow I am impressed! She is in the right profession! :-)
The other nurse at the Dr office is about 7 months pregnant thus the lack of brain right now and the flakey answers. So I called the radiology depaatment at Grossmont. They were very helpful and spent about 30 minutes on the telephone going over all my questions.
Background info - See I was in Dresden East Germany in 1986 when Chernobyl blew. That is the nuclear power plant in Russia that exploded. I remember vaguely how the men in yellow contamination suits had checked our bus with geiger counters but they let us go through. I thought it was strange at the time no one one board was checked but when you are in your 20's you think you will live forever anyway. So now fast forward 20+ years. (If you google all the incidents of thyroid cancer for those around or near Chernobyl 15+ years ago there are quite a few but I will get back to that.)
So I asked the nurse to find the Doc and ask him if the fact that I got a high dose of radioactive material in my 20's, would that have an effect or in any way lessen the success of my treatment. She said she would take all my questions and ask the Dr. I am still waiting for the call back.
So back to answers from Grossmont. I discovered there is a national shortage of isotopes so therefore a lack of appts for such treatment. If I am lucky I will get the one appt they have on Wed. I then will return on Friday for a body scan with the iodine. My friend Ray says it takes like 1 hour and I will then pee a funny color for a few days. I am hoping they will let me bring in a CD so I can relax.
If my blood turns out to be low enough in iodine tomorrow I will have a I131 - 100 milicules of radiaction iodine to kill the rest of the thyroid cells in my body on Wed. ..... to be continued
The other nurse at the Dr office is about 7 months pregnant thus the lack of brain right now and the flakey answers. So I called the radiology depaatment at Grossmont. They were very helpful and spent about 30 minutes on the telephone going over all my questions.
Background info - See I was in Dresden East Germany in 1986 when Chernobyl blew. That is the nuclear power plant in Russia that exploded. I remember vaguely how the men in yellow contamination suits had checked our bus with geiger counters but they let us go through. I thought it was strange at the time no one one board was checked but when you are in your 20's you think you will live forever anyway. So now fast forward 20+ years. (If you google all the incidents of thyroid cancer for those around or near Chernobyl 15+ years ago there are quite a few but I will get back to that.)
So I asked the nurse to find the Doc and ask him if the fact that I got a high dose of radioactive material in my 20's, would that have an effect or in any way lessen the success of my treatment. She said she would take all my questions and ask the Dr. I am still waiting for the call back.
So back to answers from Grossmont. I discovered there is a national shortage of isotopes so therefore a lack of appts for such treatment. If I am lucky I will get the one appt they have on Wed. I then will return on Friday for a body scan with the iodine. My friend Ray says it takes like 1 hour and I will then pee a funny color for a few days. I am hoping they will let me bring in a CD so I can relax.
If my blood turns out to be low enough in iodine tomorrow I will have a I131 - 100 milicules of radiaction iodine to kill the rest of the thyroid cells in my body on Wed. ..... to be continued
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Waiting....
So I just called Grossmont hospital and am now waiting for my orders to be in place as well as their scheduling to be sent for next week. It sounds like it will be all in God's timing since my blood draw is tomorrow at 9:45 am and then Friday morning they will tell me if my iodine levels are low enough to go ahead with the proceedure. It seems the hpspital doesn't get the schedule until Friday for next week.... so perfecting timing....
I am trying to get the radiation treatment first thing Monday morning or Sunday afternoon since Friday is Sam's Birthday and I don't really want to have to stay away from my Honey. That would stink.
Jackie and Bill, and Carolyn brought meals and they were great! We are so grateful and they have been so delicious! We are feeling spoiled. Thank you everyone who has been supporting us through this with prayer and meals. We are grateful!
I have really been so careful about my meals though, since I really need to have my levels low enough on Friday. Sam already cleared his work schedule for next week and if it doesn't work out it will really be stressful since there is much going on. Monday is a school holiday, Tuesday is a field trip to Old Town I think for a play and then the rest of the week is half days for school conferences. UGH! I know I don't have energy for my 7 yr old son! I think we would need a sitter every day until Sam got home.
I am praying fervently it will work out but it is God's timing not mine and HIS will, not my own.
I think I have grown already through this experience. It is showing me how I only have strength because of God and that HE alone is sustaining me and HE alone is in charge of all circumstances. I have to have faith and wait. And HE has given me peace, which is wonderful. I sleep well at night!
After all this, I think maybe I could be a personal chef for anyone with Thyroid cancer since I have almost memorized the cookbook and have been adding my own twists to it. Or maybe I should write a book on it! But I can't think about that until it is over... I have no brain.
Perfect example... I took Josh to school and placed the ipod on the middle console (inside the car). When I got to Trader Joes it was no where to be found. I spent 30 minutes looking all around the car, inside and out, and it was no where to be found. Then I went home and began calling everyone - the school, Trader Joes - maybe it had fallen into the bake sale cookie bag, or maybe Josh took it, maybe it was in the Trader Joes parking lot! UGH! I stressed for hours until Gala and I went out again to look in the truck! Yippee she found it under the back seat! Phew! That God for friends that can still think!
So thus I confess I may have been blonde before - but I am now acting blonde with NO brain cells and will probably continue until this diet is over.
So tomorrow blood draw in the am - then wait for Friday's results!
Happy Birthday Sam!
I need a nap - c ya tomorrow
I am trying to get the radiation treatment first thing Monday morning or Sunday afternoon since Friday is Sam's Birthday and I don't really want to have to stay away from my Honey. That would stink.
Jackie and Bill, and Carolyn brought meals and they were great! We are so grateful and they have been so delicious! We are feeling spoiled. Thank you everyone who has been supporting us through this with prayer and meals. We are grateful!
I have really been so careful about my meals though, since I really need to have my levels low enough on Friday. Sam already cleared his work schedule for next week and if it doesn't work out it will really be stressful since there is much going on. Monday is a school holiday, Tuesday is a field trip to Old Town I think for a play and then the rest of the week is half days for school conferences. UGH! I know I don't have energy for my 7 yr old son! I think we would need a sitter every day until Sam got home.
I am praying fervently it will work out but it is God's timing not mine and HIS will, not my own.
I think I have grown already through this experience. It is showing me how I only have strength because of God and that HE alone is sustaining me and HE alone is in charge of all circumstances. I have to have faith and wait. And HE has given me peace, which is wonderful. I sleep well at night!
After all this, I think maybe I could be a personal chef for anyone with Thyroid cancer since I have almost memorized the cookbook and have been adding my own twists to it. Or maybe I should write a book on it! But I can't think about that until it is over... I have no brain.
Perfect example... I took Josh to school and placed the ipod on the middle console (inside the car). When I got to Trader Joes it was no where to be found. I spent 30 minutes looking all around the car, inside and out, and it was no where to be found. Then I went home and began calling everyone - the school, Trader Joes - maybe it had fallen into the bake sale cookie bag, or maybe Josh took it, maybe it was in the Trader Joes parking lot! UGH! I stressed for hours until Gala and I went out again to look in the truck! Yippee she found it under the back seat! Phew! That God for friends that can still think!
So thus I confess I may have been blonde before - but I am now acting blonde with NO brain cells and will probably continue until this diet is over.
So tomorrow blood draw in the am - then wait for Friday's results!
Happy Birthday Sam!
I need a nap - c ya tomorrow
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
A new day...
Well I finally got a hold of Marlena who told me she faxed in my request for the radiation treatment. I will call the hospital tomorrow if I haven't heard back from them then. I am praying my iodine levels will be low enough to begin treatment next week. If it isn't I will go crazy with this no iodine diet. Sam had to pull so many strings to get next week off and the hospital said they only have 1 appt for that treatment per day. I need that Monday morning appt. Please God....
I am also still waiting for my pathology report. I guess the Dr has to forward that to me and she asked him to but it didn't come so.... I think I need a new Dr. If my bloodwork comes back full steam ahead I will stay where I am ptherwise I will be looking for another one.
I woke up so tired today. Thank God for Kathleen who took Josh to school. Breanna has been working with Josh to get him homework done since I don't have the energy. I like losing weight but not the No energy part. Ugh!
Great bible study today 2 Samuel 13 - accountablility and our responsibility to steer our children in the way they should go. Yikes... I think God is speaking to me. Please pray for us!
Also PRAISING the lord my friend who is going through chemo is doing very well with no nausea - and my other dear friend who got back a good report! Thank you LORD for hearing our prayers and having the grace to show us how you are working in our lives!
Time for a nap....
I am also still waiting for my pathology report. I guess the Dr has to forward that to me and she asked him to but it didn't come so.... I think I need a new Dr. If my bloodwork comes back full steam ahead I will stay where I am ptherwise I will be looking for another one.
I woke up so tired today. Thank God for Kathleen who took Josh to school. Breanna has been working with Josh to get him homework done since I don't have the energy. I like losing weight but not the No energy part. Ugh!
Great bible study today 2 Samuel 13 - accountablility and our responsibility to steer our children in the way they should go. Yikes... I think God is speaking to me. Please pray for us!
Also PRAISING the lord my friend who is going through chemo is doing very well with no nausea - and my other dear friend who got back a good report! Thank you LORD for hearing our prayers and having the grace to show us how you are working in our lives!
Time for a nap....
Sunday, January 10, 2010
A glorious day...
Today I felt energized! Seeing my friends and church family again was really wonderful. I am such a people person that staying away has been horrible. And Pastor John and Sue were back from CO that was wonderful also.
I had a delicious lunchand my family ate a delicious meal from the Harrison's! I have to say Hilary's spaghetti sauce is one of the BEST - at least it smelled that way and my family ate it up fast... I have to confess I told them to leave me a bit to freeze so when I can eat again I can try some! I know I should have been more generous but it smelled divine!
I ate the yoke free spaghetti with sauce I made that was lacking. I have lost some of my taste buds or something because it was too bland. I will try again tomorrow to rescue my pesto (that looks like split pea soup) and the runny sauce that needs more garlic, onions, well more of everything! But it still tasted good I am not complaining even if it sounds that way. I am excited to be starting a new week so the countdown continues.
I pray the Dr will return my calls tomorrow and that I sleep well again tonight.
I had a good 2 hour nap this afternoon so I am feeling great.... and can't wait to see Chuck tonight and tomorrow night. This week Sam and I are ramping up to prepare for the radiating week. He is even going to borrow someone geiger counter... oh the fun!
Oh and Sam is happy since he caught 2 grophers today before they detroyed our trees and plants ....it has been a great weekend!
See you all again soon!
Kathy
I had a delicious lunchand my family ate a delicious meal from the Harrison's! I have to say Hilary's spaghetti sauce is one of the BEST - at least it smelled that way and my family ate it up fast... I have to confess I told them to leave me a bit to freeze so when I can eat again I can try some! I know I should have been more generous but it smelled divine!
I ate the yoke free spaghetti with sauce I made that was lacking. I have lost some of my taste buds or something because it was too bland. I will try again tomorrow to rescue my pesto (that looks like split pea soup) and the runny sauce that needs more garlic, onions, well more of everything! But it still tasted good I am not complaining even if it sounds that way. I am excited to be starting a new week so the countdown continues.
I pray the Dr will return my calls tomorrow and that I sleep well again tonight.
I had a good 2 hour nap this afternoon so I am feeling great.... and can't wait to see Chuck tonight and tomorrow night. This week Sam and I are ramping up to prepare for the radiating week. He is even going to borrow someone geiger counter... oh the fun!
Oh and Sam is happy since he caught 2 grophers today before they detroyed our trees and plants ....it has been a great weekend!
See you all again soon!
Kathy
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Need sleep
After a night of tossing and turning and very strange dreams, I decided when I woke up I would need a nap. I spent the morning cooking up food to freeze for this next week and now have 2 errands to run. Then I get my nap! Hurray!
It is such a strange feeling for me to wake up needing a nap - sigh.
2 more weeks of this and counting....
Have a great day all!
It is such a strange feeling for me to wake up needing a nap - sigh.
2 more weeks of this and counting....
Have a great day all!
Friday, January 8, 2010
food yuck.....
I never thought I would say that but it is how I feel - so before I can get tiresd this morning I am rushing out to get garlic to make homemade spaghetti sauce and pesto. Maybe some bread to try homemade bread although without cheese and butter it won't taste very good so I may skip that.
I am almost thorough one week so Prasie the Lord! Only 2 more to go.
I am expceting the call back from teh Dr about the amount or radiation I need. Since the tumor was very big I am scared I will need a larger does but praying for small.... and still praying for calm and peace.
I still want to dance today so that is very good!
The sun is up and it is a beautiful day!
Love and Hugs to you all!
Well I thought I would add a sidenote I never got that call back today - so I think I may need another Endocronologist - Anyone have one or know a good one? I tried all week to get an answer and got no where... time to find another Doc I think...
I am almost thorough one week so Prasie the Lord! Only 2 more to go.
I am expceting the call back from teh Dr about the amount or radiation I need. Since the tumor was very big I am scared I will need a larger does but praying for small.... and still praying for calm and peace.
I still want to dance today so that is very good!
The sun is up and it is a beautiful day!
Love and Hugs to you all!
Well I thought I would add a sidenote I never got that call back today - so I think I may need another Endocronologist - Anyone have one or know a good one? I tried all week to get an answer and got no where... time to find another Doc I think...
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Today I could dance
Today has been a good day. I rested until a Dr appt but have felt elated all day. It somehow hit me after lunch, and I felt like I should be dancing down the aisles.... I have joy in my heart again! Thanks again eveyone for praying!
I have a call in to the Dr about the radiation. I will know tomorrow what dose and what to expect.... stay tuned! :-)
I have a call in to the Dr about the radiation. I will know tomorrow what dose and what to expect.... stay tuned! :-)
Breanna's Senior Pictures
Where did the time go? Our 17 year old is already a senior! Wow and what a beautiful girl ! We are truly blessed with a girl who is as beautiful inside as she is outside. We love her with all our hearts!
Our Christmas Pictures
These were our Christmas 2009 pictures - before I discovered whatthe lump in my throat really was.... I can't believe our kids are growing up this fast.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Doing much better ....
Today was a good day. I managed to eat before trying to do any errands and was successful. Hurray! I got to Brea's school on time and made it home again to rest before my Dr appt. It helps it is only 6 minutes away. :-)
Last night I removed the bandage from my throat since it was pinching me. I was ready for it to be gone. I figured one week should suffice. My wound was red and puffy and that worried me. I called the Dr and he said to come in since it should no longer be tender.
The surgeon checked the wound and said it is healing nicely despite the redness and swelling. I don't think it looks very good but what do I know about these kinds of wounds. I need to wash it gently with soap and water and be "patient".... I do not like that word. It isn't in my vocabulary but that is why I am sure I hear it so often.
My voice has returned for the most part and he said I can talk and begin to sing again. I wonder if I can still hit the high B's or higher. He told me to go slow and still give it time and to be sure to warm up my voice before trying to hit the really high notes. I think I need to wait until the wound is healed. I hum along with the radio and it still feels really tight and strange.
Thank God for Madalyn and Harvey who brought over more no iodine food this evening. I have been eating what my mother prepared (also delicious but almost gone now) so the fresh food was a delicious delight. I LOVE Trader Joes! Sam and Josh ate the whole mini loaf of fresh hot bread and boy were they happy! Nothing is better than fresh hot bread from the oven with melted butter.
I also ventured today and made peanut butter cookies with just egg whites, sugar and organic natural unsalted peanut butter. They are quite tasty. :-) Not much left of them but that is ok. I think Sam liked them too.
I have lost about 6 lbs total so far. I am hoping it continues! I need to lose quite a bit! :-) I would love to blame it on the thyroid but I fear it is my love of sweets that has done me in!
Well I am out of energy thus again. It seems as soon as the sun goes down so does my energy level desite the fact I was laying on the couch most of the day.
Counting the days until my blood test (Jan 14th) to see if I can radiate. ... my surgeon asked me what dose I would get and I told him I didn't know. I will ask tomorrow when the Endocronologist is back in his office. I am praying for a low dose and also for peace. I was very anxious today. I think my fear is for my family not for myself. I am so worried I will hurt them. I need GOD's peace again.
I felt very overjoyed and elated throughout today, yet weapt a few times also because my life was spared from a far worse fate. I am grateful beyond words. Thank you Lord for your grace and love!
Last night I removed the bandage from my throat since it was pinching me. I was ready for it to be gone. I figured one week should suffice. My wound was red and puffy and that worried me. I called the Dr and he said to come in since it should no longer be tender.
The surgeon checked the wound and said it is healing nicely despite the redness and swelling. I don't think it looks very good but what do I know about these kinds of wounds. I need to wash it gently with soap and water and be "patient".... I do not like that word. It isn't in my vocabulary but that is why I am sure I hear it so often.
My voice has returned for the most part and he said I can talk and begin to sing again. I wonder if I can still hit the high B's or higher. He told me to go slow and still give it time and to be sure to warm up my voice before trying to hit the really high notes. I think I need to wait until the wound is healed. I hum along with the radio and it still feels really tight and strange.
Thank God for Madalyn and Harvey who brought over more no iodine food this evening. I have been eating what my mother prepared (also delicious but almost gone now) so the fresh food was a delicious delight. I LOVE Trader Joes! Sam and Josh ate the whole mini loaf of fresh hot bread and boy were they happy! Nothing is better than fresh hot bread from the oven with melted butter.
I also ventured today and made peanut butter cookies with just egg whites, sugar and organic natural unsalted peanut butter. They are quite tasty. :-) Not much left of them but that is ok. I think Sam liked them too.
I have lost about 6 lbs total so far. I am hoping it continues! I need to lose quite a bit! :-) I would love to blame it on the thyroid but I fear it is my love of sweets that has done me in!
Well I am out of energy thus again. It seems as soon as the sun goes down so does my energy level desite the fact I was laying on the couch most of the day.
Counting the days until my blood test (Jan 14th) to see if I can radiate. ... my surgeon asked me what dose I would get and I told him I didn't know. I will ask tomorrow when the Endocronologist is back in his office. I am praying for a low dose and also for peace. I was very anxious today. I think my fear is for my family not for myself. I am so worried I will hurt them. I need GOD's peace again.
I felt very overjoyed and elated throughout today, yet weapt a few times also because my life was spared from a far worse fate. I am grateful beyond words. Thank you Lord for your grace and love!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Lost 5 lbs and feeling great!
I finally removed the tape from my neck and it feels better though there is swelling still and a bit of redness. The surgeon is not available today but I am sure this is normal healing. It is easier to swallow without the tape so that is much better. I am resting and have high hopes of running 2 errands. I hope I make it. Eating then heading out.
Breanna did great on her make up test and Josh had a great day at school yesterday too. I just pray Josh continue these next 2 weeks. Wouldn't you know that the charter school is having conferences and a field trip the week I am going to be radiating... oh well. Life goes on without me. Good thing Sam is here to take my place. Josh loves to show off his Dad. :-)
Well off for the next adventure. I hope I make it back home without a melt down of energy. Blessings to you all today!
Breanna did great on her make up test and Josh had a great day at school yesterday too. I just pray Josh continue these next 2 weeks. Wouldn't you know that the charter school is having conferences and a field trip the week I am going to be radiating... oh well. Life goes on without me. Good thing Sam is here to take my place. Josh loves to show off his Dad. :-)
Well off for the next adventure. I hope I make it back home without a melt down of energy. Blessings to you all today!
Monday, January 4, 2010
You may feel alittle tired.......
Today I started out well. My mother, bless her heart, came out and fixed me meals to get me going on my no iodine diet. It doesn't sound so bad. The food tastes great. I am used to no salt so I don't even notice. So I dropped off Josh, ran some errands and then while leaving Vons, it hit me. I had the sensation as if someone had tied cinder blocks to my legs. I couldn't move them. I was about to ask if someone could wheel me and my cart out to my car but I somehow made it (it was downhill so I could coast and then I just had to stop). Once in the car, I rested for a few minutes and the wave passed. For the girl who is very close to the energizer bunny, this was a a new feeling. I can't say I like it much but it seems to just be a wave that passes with rest so that is how I will deal with the next one. Thank God for friends like Kathleen and Jim who are taking Josh to and from school. I was able to get Breanna today because I came home and rested until 2 pm. Since she is older, I can call her and come and get her when the wave passes if I need to. What an adventure. I thought I knew my body pretty well but it seems to have a mind of its own.... so here we go. Two more weeks of this and then I will radiate. I pray I do this well.
The Roelands ~ Family of Four
For the past 2 month my throat had been sore and I felt something was wrong. On December 21st, I had a thyropid biopsy. On December 23rd, I was told I had papillary carcinoma = thyroid cancer. On December 29th, it was surgically removed with clear margins with nothing in the lymph nodes. Hurray. This is our story.
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