Wrestling with Satan ....

You know that song about the devil in Georgia ? Well last night I dreamt I had a personal hands-on fight with Satan and it felt so real I screamed out loud for Jesus to banish Him and give me strength. I was fighting for my loved ones who do not know Him and are not saved. It was so intense I woke up sweating.

But I will start at the beginning for this to make sense. I was brought up in a typical Italian American Catholic family. Believing in Jesus was a given. I was born that way. But during my pre marriage counseling something very real changed in me. I accepted Jesus into my heart, confessed I am a sinner and asked Him to reign in me. I have a personal relationship with Jesus now and my life has never been the same.

Sure I was like everyone else, a cheese-ster. You know “cheese-sters”, the “good” people that go to church on Christmas and Easter. When people would approach me about Jesus I always thought they were on “drugs” because they were just too happy. I know about life. It isn’t all rosy stuff, so how could they be that happy. “Those people”, the Jesus Freaks, scared me. I doubt I ever really listened to what they had to say, I would just say” I believe in Jesus what do you want?”

While I lived in Europe (close to 10 years) I visited all sorts of churches, lots of denominations and found the buildings, as well as the clergy, all empty. It was really disappointing. But I felt God was calling me and I just wasn’t sure what he was telling me to do.

It wasn’t until our pre-marriage counseling when our Pastor asked my husband-to-be if he had a personal relationship with Jesus that I had to stop and ask – “Excuse me but what does it mean to have a "personal relationship with Christ"?” How do you do that?

The rest is history! Since then my eyes have been opened, kind of like getting glasses for the first time when you see leaves on trees instead of just green blobs. Slowly over time things start making sense and what I understand now to be the Holy Spirit opening our eyes and hearts; helping us to understand things He wants us to get. It is amazing. And how easy it is – we just have to tell Him we need him, confess we are sinners and that we want Him to take over and lead us and we are willing to let Him. It is truly amazing.

Maybe for me since I spent so many years being on the other side and so cynical, I felt like I knew Jesus all my life yet when I prayed Jesus was always at the top of the stairs (like my 6’6” father). Always at a distance and I could never see him eye to eye. My friend reminded me once how I used to climb the stairs in our 2 story house when I was mad at my dad, so I could talk to him face to face. Although there were times my Dad scared me, I was just as scared of Jesus. Jesus was always at the top of the stairs.

Now I can come to Jesus anytime. He sits with me, or carries me, I sit at His feet or sometimes on His lap. Or I walk next to Him holding His hand. It is so much different now. And now I finally “get it”. I have such JOY is all situations. I know life won’t be easy and I know I don’t deserve anything good. I am a sinner but I am a forgiven sinner. I have peace to let the past go. If God forgave me why couldn’t I? It is so freeing. Sure I struggle like everyone else with my personal lessons. God isn’t through with me yet! And I am so glad. This cancer could have been so different but I knew He wasn’t through with me yet. I didn’t know what the journey would look like (I still don’t) but I know I don’t go it alone. The perfect Father is here for the long haul and I am His as well.

I long for my friends and family to have this peace I feel and the JOY no matter what. I long for them to know the comfort of never being alone again and knowing the perfect Father in heaven. Life is all about relationships and when we put our trust in other people we are going to get disappointed because no one is perfect. But when we give God our trust HE doesn't let us down. He never changes. He tells us to give Him our burdens and to let go of them and let Him worry about it. He has the plan for our lives and it is so much better than when we think we have it planned out. He has shown me how HIS timing is truly perfect and so much better than when I try to make things hapen on my own. He lets us try and and is there when we fall. How much easier is to come to Him first and ask for Him to let us know when the time is right. It is so sweet!

I pray for the lost and am burdened for them. I want so much for them to know God's love for them and for them to surrendor to Him completely and be blown away by His unending Love, and the comfort and JOY and peace. But like the The Ten Commandments say,  "I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.  "You shall have no other gods before me.." Our God is a jealous God and we have to worship Him alone.

John 14:6 (New International Version)
Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

Thank you Jesus for delivering me out of the pit! I pray for the Lost - may they be found.